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do you agree or disagree with the following statement? nowadays people are too obsessed with buying or acquiring material things such as expensive cloths or cars because they think that people around them will judge them based on what they possess.

nowadays people are too obsessed with buying or acquiring material things such as expensive cloths or cars because they think that people around them will judge them based on what they possess. XlyGg
In the modern world, things are getting more luxurious and many people have a great tendency to spend their money buying fancy materials because they think that they can get others' admire and respect when they are rich. From the point of my view, however, it is partly a correct idea because of two reasons I will describe in the enswing paragraphs. Fisrt of all, people usually judge others by what they have. All of us have a passion for welfare and lush living based on what is advertised in TV serials and films. Consequently, perhaps we unintentionally admire the way of living of rich people and regret what they have. This attitude brings about we respect the people that have luxurious lives and think that they are better than us. Therefore, individuals try to conduct pretentiously to get others' exults and feel happy. In addition, some people want to put their lives in a showcase to show their power and authority in this way. Individuals basically believe that if people have a large amount of money, they are powerful people. Then they try to obey them in an inferior manner. As an illustration, when I was studying bachelor I had two classmates named John and Joe. John had a very rich family. On the other hand, Joe had a moderate level of wellbeing. They were getting intimate in the university but John always behave in a condescending manner with Joe and want him to do exactly what he wants and unfortunately Joe did so because he thought that John in better than him due to his richness. In summary, in nowadays' world people tend to pretend they are rich to cause people to extol them or give them a way to treat with them in a condescending manner. Therefore, they feel that they are powerful and important when they are utilizing fanciful matterials.
In the modern world, things are getting more luxurious and
many
people
have a great tendency to spend their money buying fancy materials
because
they
think
that they can
get
others' admire and respect when they are
rich
. From the point of my view,
however
, it is partly a correct
idea
because
of two reasons I will
describe
in the
enswing
paragraphs.

Fisrt
of all,
people
usually
judge others by what they have. All of us have a passion for welfare and lush living based on what
is advertised
in TV serials and films.
Consequently
, perhaps we
unintentionally
admire the way of living of
rich
people
and regret what they have. This attitude brings about we respect the
people
that have luxurious
lives
and
think
that they are better than
us
.
Therefore
, individuals try to conduct
pretentiously
to
get
others' exults and feel happy.

In addition
,
some
people
want to put their
lives
in a showcase to
show
their power and authority in this way. Individuals
basically
believe that if
people
have a large amount of money, they are powerful
people
. Then they try to obey them
in an inferior manner
. As an illustration, when I was studying bachelor I had two classmates named John and
Joe
. John had a
very
rich
family.
On the other hand
,
Joe
had a moderate level of
wellbeing
. They were getting intimate in the university
but
John always behave
in a condescending manner
with
Joe
and want him to do exactly what he wants and unfortunately
Joe
did
so
because
he
thought
that John in better than him due to his richness.

In summary,
in nowadays
' world
people
tend to pretend they are
rich
to cause
people
to extol them or give them a way to treat with them
in a condescending manner
.
Therefore
, they feel that they are powerful and
important
when they are utilizing fanciful
matterials
.
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IELTS essay nowadays people are too obsessed with buying or acquiring material things such as expensive cloths or cars because they think that people around them will judge them based on what they possess.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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