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Describe A famous singer/celebrity/actor

Describe A famous singer/celebrity/actor Ed7lM
So to begin with, in reply to the initial point of who the person is, I’d have to go for Lady Gaga. Now with regard to the next question of why she is famous, what I’d like to add here is that she is one of the world's best-selling music artists, "a powerhouse" actor and someone who "inspires and empowers millions of people" with her activism. This year, she has released a jazz album, an edm album and she will also star in a movie out this November. Progressing to the subject of why I admire her, I suppose I should underline the fact that she's super talented. She writes and produces all her music, is a proper well-trained vocalist with extraordinary singing techniques. And also, she can play 7 different musical instruments and dance As a final point, if time permits, I’d like to bring in the point of what I would do if I met her I guess that I would definitely ask her for a photo and a signature because I’ve been an admirer of her for many years.
So
to
begin
with, in reply to the initial point of
who
the person is, I’d
have to
go for Lady Gaga.

Now
with regard to the
next
question of why she is
famous
, what I’d like to
add
here is that she is one of the world's best-selling music artists,
"
a powerhouse
"
actor and someone who
"
inspires and empowers millions of
people
"
with her activism. This year, she has released a jazz album, an
edm
album and
she will
also
star in a movie out this November.

Progressing to the subject of why I admire her, I suppose I should underline the fact that she's super talented. She writes and produces all her music, is a proper well-trained vocalist with extraordinary singing techniques. And
also
, she can play 7
different
musical instruments and dance

As a final point, if time permits, I’d like to bring in the point of what I would do if I met her I guess that I would definitely ask her for a photo and a signature
because
I’ve been an admirer of her for
many
years.
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IELTS essay Describe A famous singer/celebrity/actor

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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