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nowadays, both men and women are more care about their appearance

nowadays, both men and women are more care about their appearance VYyr7
In the present day, people care more about their appearance than in the past. Nowadays, the beauty industry is becoming more developed with the existence of many new fashion brands, beauty products, and beauty advertisements. This development can create people's awareness of beauty care and offer them the best chance to take care of their looks. Secondly, society's beauty standards these days are far higher than in the past because people believe that their appearance can create the first impression, and affect their career. Therefore, people care more about their appearance to catch up with the standards and make them feel more confident. According to a survey of two economists of the Metropolitan University of Denver, USA name Rey Hermandez-Julian and Christina Peters, students having a good look tend to have higher marks than the others.
In the present day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
more about their appearance than in the past. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
industry is becoming more developed with the existence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new fashion brands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
products, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
advertisements. This development can create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and offer them the best chance to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their looks.
Secondly
, society's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
standards these days are far higher than in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that their appearance can create the
first
impression, and affect their career.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
more about their appearance to catch up with the standards and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel more confident. According to a survey of two economists of the Metropolitan University of Denver, USA name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rey
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hermandez-Julian
and Christina Peters, students having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look tend to have higher marks than the others.
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IELTS essay nowadays, both men and women are more care about their appearance

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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