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Topic: Nowadays, over-enthusiatic parents place too much pressure on their children to do well at school. What are the reasons and how does this effect the children?

Topic: Nowadays, over-enthusiatic parents place too much pressure on their children to do well at school. What are the reasons and how does this effect the children? 8L6aV
In modern society, unrealistic parents often put children under constant pressure to have a good academic performance. This essay will discuss the factor contributed to this tendency and its impacts on teenagers. First and foremost, parents tend to demand too much from youngsters on account of parents’ desire that their offspring would have a better life. Today, the world’s population is growing fast and there will be a significant increase in the demand for jobs that require a high level of employees. Therefore, as going to a high-quality school will be a stepping stone to youths’ careers, many adults force children to become high-achieving students to protect them from lifetime regrets. For example, Chinese teenagers are extremely occupied with studying due to unmet parental expectations. Finally, social standing is a contributory reason for this trend. In fact, accomplishments are the primary determinant of status. As a result, many parents monitor their children’s progress in order that they can brag about their teenagers in the future. Moreover, this tendency also has various detrimental effects on youngsters. Firstly, children might be suffering from a higher rate of mental illness. Nowadays, parents often place children at a greater risk of high levels of stress and anxiety because of their over-enthusiasm. This leads to a number of children commit suicide. Last but not least, this mindset results in juveniles’ misbehavior. Getting an excessive academic performance in a competitive society tends to increase the likelihood of cheating in examinations. Thus, although toddlers understand that this is wrongdoing, they still do that in order not to fall short of expectations set by parents. All things considered, children are under enormous pressure on account of several factors, and this causes negative outcomes to juniors.
In modern society, unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under constant pressure to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic performance. This essay will discuss the factor contributed to this tendency and its impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to demand too much from youngsters on account of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
desire that their offspring would have a better life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the world’s population is growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and there will be a significant increase in the demand for jobs that require a high level of employees.
Therefore
, as going to a high-quality school will be a stepping stone to youths’ careers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become high-achieving students to protect them from lifetime regrets.
For example
, Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
extremely
occupied with studying due to unmet parental expectations.
Finally
, social standing is a contributory reason for this trend. In fact, accomplishments are the primary determinant of status.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
progress in order that they can brag about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in the future.

Moreover
, this tendency
also
has various detrimental effects on youngsters.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be suffering from a higher rate of mental illness. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their over-enthusiasm. This leads to a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
commit suicide. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, this mindset results in juveniles’ misbehavior. Getting an excessive academic performance in a competitive society tends to increase the likelihood of cheating in examinations.
Thus
, although toddlers understand that this is wrongdoing, they
still
do that in order not to fall short of expectations set by parents.

All things considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are under enormous pressure on account of several factors, and this causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes to juniors.
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IELTS essay Topic: Nowadays, over-enthusiatic parents place too much pressure on their children to do well at school. What are the reasons and how does this effect the children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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