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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages. v.2

Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages. v. 2
In the current years, it is believed that more and more citizens have devote them time into workplace whereby they are while away from their homes. This essay will be discussed the both sides, the advantage and disadvantage of this statement, thereby firstly as a benefit, spending more time in the workplace mean working for a career progression, followed of the drawback, which tends to be less time to dedicate to their family. The advantages need to be considered is that dedicating an industrious phase of the individual life in working hard to acquire a higher position. This means that investing in those one’s career must use a large period in the workplace. In other words, sacrificing the one’s personal life in order to find a work method for reaching the peak of their skills. In this case the individual should devote several moments alone and in a quiet place in order to understand them mistakes, learning new ways to improve, and taking action, which sometime this work term is removed from family moments. For example, there are so many academic studies by which provide data of the overwhelming number of professionals that reaching the top of work categories such as CEOs and marketing directors in companies as Apple and Prada. A possible disadvantage is represented by the reduced amount of time is given to the elements of the one’s family. This means that the far-reaching consequences could be a huge issue, namely if the partner does not support this decision, thus represents a conflict of interests between the couple, and also children are missing those attention. This represents a likely experience of young couples in the modern days. For instance, according to The Guardians, the famous new paper in the UK, reveals over the three-quarters of those CEO’s got divorced at least twice in their lives. To sum up, in these days, the benefits and the drawbacks are based on occupying them hours to develop professional skills or enjoying it with their families. Obviously, if those workers opted to dedicate their lives to work, there will always be an advantages to put aside the please moments, although there also are occasions when a human being reflexes if it was the best decision for the.
In the
current
years, it
is believed
that more and more citizens have
devote
them
time
into workplace whereby they are while away from their homes. This essay will
be discussed
the both sides, the advantage and disadvantage of this statement, thereby
firstly
as a benefit, spending more
time
in the workplace mean working for a career progression, followed of the drawback, which tends to be less
time
to dedicate to their family.

The advantages need to
be considered
is that dedicating an industrious phase of the individual life in working
hard
to acquire a higher position. This means that investing in those one’s career
must
use
a large period in the workplace.
In other words
, sacrificing the one’s personal life in order to find a
work
method for reaching the peak of their
skills
.
In this case
the individual should devote several moments alone and in a quiet place in order to understand them mistakes, learning new ways to
improve
, and taking action, which sometime this
work
term
is removed
from family moments.
For example
, there are
so
many
academic studies by which provide data of the overwhelming number of professionals that reaching the top of
work
categories such as CEOs and marketing directors in
companies
as Apple and Prada.

A possible disadvantage
is represented
by the
reduced
amount of
time
is
given
to the elements of the one’s family. This means that the far-reaching consequences could be a huge issue,
namely
if the partner does not support this decision,
thus
represents a conflict of interests between the couple, and
also
children are missing
those attention
. This represents a likely experience of young couples in the modern days.
For instance
, according to The Guardians, the
famous
new paper in the UK, reveals over the three-quarters of
those CEO
’s
got
divorced at least twice in their
lives
.

To sum up, in these days, the benefits and the drawbacks
are based
on occupying them hours to develop professional
skills
or enjoying it with their families.
Obviously
, if those workers opted to dedicate their
lives
to
work
, there will always be
an advantages
to put aside the
please
moments, although there
also
are occasions when a human being reflexes if it was the best decision for
the.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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