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Nowadays, people are interested in buying latest phones. Discuss your views and give opinion v.1

Nowadays, people are interested in buying latest phones. Discuss your views and give opinion v. 1
In today's dynamic world, people's desire to level up to cutting edge technology is intensifying more than ever. I strongly believe that their opinions on following the latest trends, including the most recent phones are backed up by a multitude of reasons. Firstly, the world has globalised to such an extent that it's almost impossible to live without innovative gadgets. For instance, smartphones are preferred over old models due to the fact that they encompass modern featured that are essential for everyday tasks. They are extremely vital in professional environments, especially in firms that revolve around digital marketing. This is because modern phones have more features that would aid and ease the process of getting access to applications essential for business purposes. Secondly, personal reasons may also influence a person's decision to purchase latest models of phones. With every passing day, more and more people are taking interest in photography for instance, and this is made possible by latest models of iPhones and Androids. These technological giants claim that the quality of photos are upgraded with every new model released to market and this may be the very reason why consumers opt for these new releases. Hence, customers may show interest in newest phones in market due to the fact that they can capture quality snapshots and save the as memories. In a nutshell, customers are always looking for new trends and more often than not, it has become a ritual to chase the latest trends especially in case of technology. While some of the people purchase latest models for professional purposes, others utilise these gadgets for personal reasons.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's dynamic world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's desire to level up to cutting edge technology is intensifying more than ever. I
strongly
believe that their opinions on following the latest trends, including the most recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are backed
up by a multitude of reasons.

Firstly
, the world has
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
to such an extent that it's almost impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without innovative gadgets.
For instance
, smartphones
are preferred
over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
due to the fact that they encompass modern featured that are essential for everyday tasks. They are
extremely
vital in professional environments,
especially
in firms that revolve around digital marketing. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have more features that would aid and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the process of getting access to applications essential for business purposes.

Secondly
, personal reasons may
also
influence a person's decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. With every passing day, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taking interest in photography
for instance
, and this
is made
possible by latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
of iPhones and Androids. These technological giants claim that the quality of photos
are upgraded
with every new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
released to market and this may be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reason why consumers opt for these new releases.
Hence
, customers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the newest".
newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in market due to the fact that they can capture quality snapshots and save the as memories.

In a nutshell, customers are always looking for new trends and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, it has become a ritual to chase the latest trends
especially
in case of technology. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
for professional purposes, others
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
these gadgets for personal reasons.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people are interested in buying latest phones. Discuss your views and give opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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