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Nowadays people are increasingly dependent on their smart phones. Is this positive trend? What are advantages or disadvantages of this dependency? Support your point of view with reason and examples from your own experience or observations.

Nowadays people are increasingly dependent on their smart phones. Is this positive trend? What are advantages or disadvantages of this dependency? Support your point of view with reason and examples from your own experience or observations. yXbEr
Today society developing to digitalization in all sectors. So that users of smart phone increasing when comparing to past decay. In my view there are so many positive and negative trends, we can see following essay. Firstly, the negative side of smart phone most of wider community become lazy to do their work and reduced the physical activity. For instance, most of people do online shopping so it eliminates the walking exercise. Therefore, which causes disease to health such as diabetes, cardio vascular disease and obsessiveness. In another hand advantages of using smart phone which used to communicate eassily where ever in the world and become more transparency in media, government, banking etc. For example, nowadays more freedom given to media because of this smart technology made easier to reach update news immediately to people. In conclusion, the both view have different aspect but while considering the usage of importance smart phone play major role in certain areas. I pen down, even for my communication and knowledge development smart phone is used. Finally, the smart phone has more advantages than disadvantage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
society developing to digitalization in all sectors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that users of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
increasing when comparing to past decay. In my view there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
following essay.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
most of wider community become lazy to do their work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the physical activity.
For instance
, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do online shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it eliminates the walking exercise.
Therefore
, which causes disease to health such as diabetes, cardio vascular disease and obsessiveness.

In another hand advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to communicate
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassily
where ever in the world and become more transparency in media,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, banking etc.
For example
, nowadays more freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to media
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
technology made easier to reach update news immediately to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, the both view have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
while considering the usage of importance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
play major role in certain areas. I pen down, even for my communication and knowledge development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has more advantages than disadvantage.

IELTS essay Nowadays people are increasingly dependent on their smart phones. Is this positive trend? What are advantages or disadvantages of this dependency? Support your point of view with reason and examples from your own experience or observations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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