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Gambling is an activity which causes more harm than good and so should be made illegal in all countries.To what extent do you agree or disagree? give reasons and example to support to your response.

Gambling is an activity which causes more harm than good and so should be made illegal in all countries. give reasons and example to support to your response. E36ox
The gambling is a game play by betting of anything. In past years the people are more addicted in gambling games because it is more interesting to play continuously. According, to this game so many family got suffered and even some family commit to suicide because of the addiction of game, this game make betting of money, assets, jewellery etc. when they lose money and everything even though the addiction people can’t out of that game. The person who lose or win, the gambler never stop his game he always think about winning. But, in some case if he get failure by loosing his money he was under stress so that he can addict to drugs and alcohol. From this substance which made to relax but the reality is he will affect physically and financially and also they treat bad with close friend’s and family who are trying to help them. However, by playing game it increases the brain function activity, thinking power and concentration. Anyhow the extreme level of game make risk to him and family. Still some luxurious people are playing gambling games which was authorized government, for example casino which is one of the popular gambling place. Nowadays, government band many gambling places due to causes of public welfare, mainly focusing on middle class and low class people stuck in to this game. In conclusion, the actual winner in gambling is those who conducting the game he gained money. Finely, the looser is gambler they lost all physical and mental.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gambling
is a game play by betting of anything. In past years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more addicted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gambling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more interesting to play
continuously
.

According, to this game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
suffered and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "families"?
family
commit to suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the addiction of game, this game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
betting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, assets,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
etc. when they lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and everything
even though
the addiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t out of that game.

The person who lose or win, the gambler never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
his game he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "thinks", "thought".
think
about winning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
failure by loosing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
he was under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can addict to drugs and alcohol. From this substance which made to relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the reality is he will affect
physically
and
financially
and
also
they treat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
with close friend’s and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

However
, by playing game it increases the brain function activity, thinking power and concentration.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Anyhow
the extreme level of game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to him and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gambling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which
was authorized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
for example
casino which is one of the popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gambling
place.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
band
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gambling
places due to causes of public welfare,
mainly
focusing on middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stuck in to this game.

In conclusion
, the actual winner in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gambling
is those who conducting the game he gained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Finely
, the looser is gambler they lost all physical and mental.

IELTS essay Gambling is an activity which causes more harm than good and so should be made illegal in all countries. give reasons and example to support to your response.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
253 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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