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Do you think the place where a person grew up helps him/her in accomplishing goals in life? Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think the place where a person grew up helps him/her in accomplishing goals in life? jR1nw
In this modern era, we have witnessed massive movement among all section of society either for pursuing their dream careers or desired employment. Experts are debating over this phenomenon. Proponents are supporting and favoring such migration for embracing mammoth growth and achieving objectives in life, however, others have opposite views stating that many great historians have achieved paramount success in life by working hard at the place they grew up. I somewhat agree with the former view. To begin with, the major reasons for venturing out or traveling from the once birthplace is mainly due to lack of academic institutes or professional opportunities. For instance, most of my friends went abroad for achieving their career objectives due to fewer and lower paying jobs in home town. Moreover, some students are going out due to not availability of colleges or universities in the areas of their fields of interest. On the other hand, there are certain people who have achieved their objectives in life by staying and struggling at the place they grew up. They have turned adversities into the opportunities by their hard work. For example, Mr. Ambani of the Reliance Industry has reached to top by persistently sticking to goals, and hence, developed the whole ecosystem for cognitive and holistic development. In conclusion, from the above examples, I am inclined to believe that a person should try hard and try all the options before leaving the place they grew up.
In this modern era, we have witnessed massive movement among all section of society either for pursuing their dream careers or desired employment. Experts are debating over this phenomenon. Proponents are supporting and favoring such migration for embracing mammoth growth and achieving objectives in life,
however
, others have opposite views stating that
many
great historians have achieved paramount success in life by working
hard
at the place they grew up. I somewhat
agree
with the former view.

To
begin
with, the major reasons for venturing out or traveling from the once birthplace is
mainly
due to lack of academic institutes or professional opportunities.
For instance
, most of my friends went abroad for achieving their career objectives due to fewer and lower paying jobs in home town.
Moreover
,
some
students are going out due to not availability of colleges or universities in the areas of their fields of interest.

On the other hand
, there are certain
people
who have achieved their objectives in life by staying and struggling at the place they grew up. They have turned adversities into the opportunities by their
hard
work.
For example
, Mr.
Ambani
of
the


Reliance Industry has reached to top by
persistently
sticking to goals, and
hence
, developed the whole ecosystem for cognitive and holistic development.

In conclusion
, from the above examples, I
am inclined
to believe that a person should try
hard
and try all the options
before
leaving the place they grew up.
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IELTS essay Do you think the place where a person grew up helps him/her in accomplishing goals in life?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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