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Nowadays people are consuming much of a sugar in their food. Do you think by increasing taxes on sugar, this problem can be solved. Who do you think is responsible for this problem government or people.

Nowadays people are consuming much of a sugar in their food. Do you think by increasing taxes on sugar, this problem can be solved. Who do you think is responsible for this problem government or people. 8Qy8V
It is true that consumption of sugar in the foods in modern world have increased. We humans are more responsible for this increased sugar consumption problem. I think increasing taxes on sugar will not solve this problem. We should do certain measures to solve this problem. I will elaborate my point of view in upcoming paragraph. To begin with i think that nowadays people are consuming lot of sugar in modern world. Increasing the taxes on sugar would not make any change in this scenario. We human beings should get aware what we eat how much quantity we eat in daily routine. People should start by making small changes use jaggery instead of sugar in their homes and on festivals they should avoid taking from their relatives and also should not give to others. They should eat healthy food which do not contain any kind of sugar or contain very low amount of sugar. Sugar has various dangerous impacts on people such as obesity today 60% of people are suffering from obesity because of sugar intake. On the other hand, i think that government also take certain measures in this scenario. They can raise only a little bit taxes on sugar industries because from this the price of sugar will get increase and people will not buy this costly sugar. Government should also run some health companies and TV advertisements about the danger of excessive sugar intake and the harm it can do to a human body. Secondly, goveenment should also increase taxes on health checkups related to the sugar intake because of this people will fear of costly health checkups and will decrease the amount of sugar they are consuming to keep themselves healthy and avoid costly treatment. Government should also build some free open gyms in the parks so people can get motivated by seeing good gym equipments and start working out to keep themselves healthy. People should also follow strict diet in their life decrease the amount of daily sugar intake and they should avoid unhealthy sugary foods such as pastries and chocolates because contains very high amounts of sugar in them.
It is true that consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in the foods in modern world have increased. We humans are more responsible for this increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption problem. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
will not solve this problem. We should do certain measures to solve this problem. I will elaborate my point of view in upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in modern world. Increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in this scenario. We human beings should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware what we eat how much quantity we eat in daily routine.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
jaggery
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in their homes and on festivals they should avoid taking from their relatives and
also
should not give to others. They should eat healthy food which do not contain any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
or contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
has various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as obesity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake.

On the other hand
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
take certain measures in this scenario. They can raise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from this the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
increase and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
this costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and TV advertisements about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake and the harm it can do to a human body.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goveenment
should
also
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on health checkups related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will fear of costly health checkups and will decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
they are consuming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves healthy and avoid costly treatment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "frees"?
free
open gyms in the parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated by seeing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
gym equipments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
also
follow strict diet in their life decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
intake and
they should avoid unhealthy sugary foods such as pastries and chocolates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in them.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people are consuming much of a sugar in their food. Do you think by increasing taxes on sugar, this problem can be solved. Who do you think is responsible for this problem government or people.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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