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describe your hometown alittle?

describe your hometown alittle? JL5Wk
well, first of all, I could start off by saying that I come from Bac Ninh, Viet Nam and I have lived their all my life, although at the moment I'm studying in another city- Hanoi. you know, I suppose I should begin by highlighting the fact that it's absolutely tiny city in my country so population might be quite few. - another point which I could add is that Bac ninh is famous for ancient heritages where you can find so many antique pagodas as well as temples in you know.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off by saying that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bac
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ninh
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam and I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their all my life, although at the moment I'm studying in another city- Hanoi.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
know, I suppose I should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by highlighting the fact that it's
absolutely
tiny city in my country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
population might be quite few.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
another point which I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bac
Possible spelling mistake found.
ninh
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for ancient heritages where you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
antique pagodas
as well
as temples in you know.

IELTS essay describe your hometown alittle?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
92 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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