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Nowadays people are affected by social media and the Internet. Is it a good or a bad trend, in your opinion? Explain it by giving your own examples. v.1

Nowadays people are affected by social media and the Internet. Is it a good or a bad trend, in your opinion? Explain it by giving your own examples. v. 1
The Internet and social media have changed the lives of people to a large extent. These sources are affecting the lives of people positively and negatively. This essay has a balanced approach and detailed reasoning will be given in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the web has made the life of people easier, more comfortable and entertaining. Firstly, while sitting at home, people can purchase anything what they want and there is refundable facility available on shopping websites if the product is defective. Secondly, employees who are working in big MNCs attend their meetings with the help of tele-communication. This saves a lot of time and cost. Thirdly, many online sites are available which provide us relaxation. For example, Netflix and amazon prime video have come up with many thriller and comedy shows which are very popular among different age groups. Talking about media, it keeps people up-to-date and provides various knowledge related to different topics. Sites like Facebook and Instagram helps to make more informal relationships with different type of people living in other countries. Consequently, they become friends and share their life experiences with each other. What's more, the different recipes are shared by them and for making the special item, Skype has provided the facility of video-chat also. However, on the flip side, these have disadvantages too. Advertisements shown on the sites and media push the people to buy the items by giving lame compliments and promises. Children are being attracted to that product and disturb their parents to buy it. Secondly, although, Whatsapp and other video apps are helping people to talk to their relatives sitting abroad, but these are increasing the communication gaps among locals. In conclusion, the advantages of internet and media outweighs their disadvantages. Although, these have made the life more advanced and worthwhile, but people are becoming lazy when they perform their activities while sitting at home only. In my opinion, the extensive usage of anything can lead to harmful effects. The access to everything should be limited.
The Internet and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a large extent. These sources are affecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
positively
and
negatively
. This essay has a balanced approach and detailed reasoning will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the web has made the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easier, more comfortable and entertaining.
Firstly
, while sitting at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything what they want and there is refundable facility available on shopping websites if the product is defective.
Secondly
, employees who are working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNCs
attend their meetings with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-communication
. This saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and cost.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online sites are available which provide us relaxation.
For example
, Netflix and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
amazon prime
video have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
Possible agreement error. The noun thriller seems to be countable; consider using: "many thrillers".
many thriller
and comedy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
age groups.

Talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
up-to-date and provides various knowledge related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
topics. Sites like Facebook and Instagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more informal relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in other countries.
Consequently
, they become friends and share their life experiences with each other. What's more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
recipes
are shared
by them and for making the special item, Skype has provided the facility of video-chat
also
.

However
, on the flip side, these have disadvantages too. Advertisements shown on the sites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
push the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the items by giving lame compliments and promises. Children are
being attracted
to that product and disturb their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
Secondly
, although,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
and other video apps are helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to talk to their relatives sitting abroad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these are increasing the communication gaps among locals.

In conclusion
, the advantages of internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweighs their disadvantages. Although, these have made the life more advanced and worthwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming lazy when they perform their activities while sitting at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. In my opinion, the extensive usage of anything can lead to harmful effects. The access to everything should
be limited
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Nowadays people are affected by social media and the Internet. Is it a good or a bad trend, in your opinion? Explain it by giving your own examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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