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Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. v. 1
Globalisation has revolutionized our world in many aspects. Due to the impact of modernisation the transportation of various products including daily necessary items is becoming very easy. However, In my opinion, there are many benefits of exchanging of goods, products from one country to another. Thus, the pros outweigh the cons. Nevertheless, nowadays, the transportation system is playing a major role in supplying the items from one nation to another. It is the easiest way of generating good revenue also we can use different type of branded products in terms of clothing, footwear, eatables and electronics gadgets. For instance, almost 10years ago, it was very difficult to find out the Newzeland's fruit named as "Kiwi" into the fruit market, but at present because of good transportation facilities we have the availability of this fruit worldwide. Furthermore, In the modern era, on a daily basis the demands of products are becoming very high and to fulfil the requirement industries, giving work opportunities for people who is unemployed and searching for a job. In short, many good options for people to work. Moreover, small business has a lot of possibilities to expand their business globally and it increases the overall economy of the country. In addition, it helps in developing the good relationship between the countries. For example, In early 1960's when Indian and china conflicts were increasing because of the war, but as time moving very swiftly things are changing very swiftly due to need of items both countries starts the import and export across the border line & the terms between two powerful countries are becoming fruitful and smoother day by day. On the other hand, importing goods can also have a negative effect. Many manufacturing units, industries are purchasing the items such as grains, vegetables from the local farmers at very low cost instead of paying more they are putting a branded label and exporting their materials at a high price and making profits. Moreover, when goods are transported thousands of miles by roads, sea and air it increases the pollution from exhaust fumes and that is harmful to the ecosystem. To conclude, Importing goods have both merits and demerits still the advantages are more and suppressed the disadvantages.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has revolutionized our world in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. Due to the impact of
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
the transportation of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
including daily necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy.
However
, In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of exchanging of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another.
Thus
, the pros outweigh the cons.

Nevertheless
, nowadays, the transportation system is playing a major role in supplying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from one nation to another. It is the easiest way of generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
revenue
also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in terms of clothing, footwear, eatables and electronics gadgets.
For instance
, almost 10years ago, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find out the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newzeland
's fruit named as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Kiwi
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
into the fruit market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
transportation facilities we have the availability of this fruit worldwide.

Furthermore
, In the modern era, on a daily basis the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and to fulfil the requirement industries, giving work opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
unemployed and searching for a job. In short,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
options for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
possibilities to expand their business globally and it increases the
overall
economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, In early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1960s".
1960's
when Indian and china conflicts were increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the war,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as time moving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swiftly
things are changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swiftly
due to need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
the import and export across the border line & the terms between two powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming fruitful and smoother day by day.

On the other hand
, importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
can
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
manufacturing units, industries are purchasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as grains, vegetables from the local farmers at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low cost
instead
of paying more they are putting a branded label and exporting their materials at a high price and making profits.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are transported
thousands of miles by roads, sea and air it increases the pollution from exhaust fumes and
that is
harmful to the ecosystem.

To conclude
, Importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
have both merits and demerits
still
the advantages are more and suppressed the disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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