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Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?

Science is the study of the world, nature of behaviour etc. Science are divided in three types are chemistry, physics, biology. Every parts have there own definition. Now, we will discuss why students don’t choose this subject. Firstly, Today era, Student likes interesting subject and those which are helpful in there future field. Science is only subject for those who want to choose medical line after their senior secondary. Every part of science is for doctor line on different positions. Some of pupil don’t want to choose the science line that’s the solid reason why not enough students choose the science subjects in universities. Secondly, students have different mind set for their future studies. They choose different lines like commerce, arts, non-medical, for the career. Conclusion, Students have different mind setups for career which they don’t need the science subject.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is the study of the world, nature of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
are divided
in three types are chemistry, physics, biology.
‘Each’, ‘every’, ‘either’ and ‘neither’ are used with singular. Did you mean “all”?
Every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “part”?
parts
have there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
definition.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
likes interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and those which are helpful in
Did you mean “their”?
there
future field.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for those who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
after their senior secondary. Every part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is for doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
positions.
Consider using “Some pupil” or “Some of the pupil”.
Some of pupil
don’t want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
that’s the solid reason why not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in universities.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mind set for their future studies. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
like commerce, arts, non-medical, for the career. Conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mind setups for career which they don’t need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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