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Some students work while studying. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and give your opinion?

Some students work while studying. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and give your opinion? dpnp
In this day and age, some problems related to student have drawn a lot of attention from the public. Numerous of people think that students can have a part-time job when they are studying. In my opinion, this trend would have both negative aspects and positive aspects consequences in equal measure. This essay will discuss both points of views and illustrate my argument. It can be said that have a job when studying has some noteworthy positive effects. The main advantage of this trend is that the pupils can gain enough money to use for living expenses, school fees and also entertain after school time. An additional benefit would be a opportunity for students to training and achieve a bunch of valuable experiences to prepare for the future job. For example, work in the restaurant where you con be trained some kitchen skills and improve your tasting ability. However, a number of students have a job while studying is not completely benefit, there are several negative aspects that should be taken into consideration. The serious disadvantage of this tendency is can impact to your exam scores at school. That mean, if you pay more attention on working, you may not able to focus on learning. Moreover, you can be exhausted after working. For instance, my friend had 5 days off because he had sick after 20 hours included studying and working. In conclusion, although this trend has some drawbacks, I would argue that there are some benefits. For me, having a temporary job whereas studying really useful for my occupation in the future.
In this day and age,
some
problems related to
student
have drawn
a lot of
attention from the public. Numerous of
people
think
that
students
can have a part-time
job
when they are
studying
. In my opinion, this trend would have both
negative
aspects and
positive
aspects consequences in equal measure. This essay will discuss both points of views and illustrate my argument. It can
be said
that have a
job
when
studying
has
some
noteworthy
positive
effects. The main advantage of this trend is that the pupils can gain
enough
money to
use
for living expenses, school fees and
also
entertain after school time. An additional benefit would be
a
opportunity for
students
to training and achieve a bunch of valuable experiences to prepare for the future
job
.
For example
, work in the restaurant where you con
be trained
some
kitchen
skills
and
improve
your tasting ability.
However
, a number of
students
have a
job
while
studying
is not completely benefit, there are several
negative
aspects that should
be taken
into consideration. The serious disadvantage of this tendency is can impact to your exam scores at school.
That
mean, if you pay more attention on working, you may not able to focus on learning.
Moreover
, you can
be exhausted
after working.
For instance
, my friend had 5 days off
because
he had sick after 20 hours included
studying
and working.
In conclusion
, although this trend has
some
drawbacks, I would argue that there are
some
benefits. For me, having a temporary
job
whereas
studying
really
useful for my occupation in the future.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay Some students work while studying. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and give your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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