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Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages of this new approach?

Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages of this new approach? EwpJB
In this modern era new innovations and technology are the vital part of humans life. The usage of technology in educational sector are booming now. There are bundle of advantages for this new approach. Further we discuss vital points in detail. First and foremost technology creat attraction for more students to attend the classes because students can effortlessly concentrate on the concept and they do not need to longer essential in classes. In addtion to this, new technology gives the facility to long distance study. It helps to professional employees, housewives, students and many more to start their course from anywhere. To conclude, technology and innovation are now must needed in every sectors. It helps tech students for their study.
In this modern era new innovations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are the vital part of humans life. The usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in educational sector are booming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. There are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "bundles"?
bundle
of advantages for this new approach.
Further
we discuss vital points in detail.

First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
attraction for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to attend the classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
effortlessly
concentrate on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
concept and
they do not need to longer essential in classes.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
addtion
to this, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
gives the facility to long distance study. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to professional employees, housewives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their course from anywhere.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and innovation are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Did you mean "have needed" or "need"?
needed
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "sector"?
sectors
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their study.
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IELTS essay Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages of this new approach?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
120 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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