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Children Are More Pressures Nowadays From Academic, Social And Commercial Perspectives

Children Are More Pressures Nowadays From Academic, Social And Commercial Perspectives m32R1
These days, there has been rising pressure on children by the influence of academic, social, and commercial sectors which lead a child to feel stressed, anxious and worried. There are many reasons behind this phenomenon, some measures can be taken to mitigate the harmful effects of these pressures. To begin with, there are two major factors which develope more stress, rising standards of academic, and peer pressure. During each academic year, childeren give so many exam, tests, and complete their homework to achieve high grades. These exams can put children, and teenagers under increasing pressure to satisfy their higher academic expectations. In addition to this, parents have high expectations to the point of giving their children performance anxiety in school. For instance, students in India study on an average fifteen hours per day. Another cause of stress is peer pressure. Nowadays, more and more students force their friends to come in social platforms. This means they spend more time on socialmedia like Instagram, YouTube, and try to be cool. Therefore, increasing dependence on socialmedia develops more anxiety them. Neverthless, there are a few counter measures that should be taken to reduce student's stress. First, the high set of standard of academic should be lowered, Rather, there should be balanced approach in all the level of education system. This would help students to avoid heavy burden of study time table, and they might even perform better because of it. Second, support grades, and counselling session should be made for all students to deal their problems. We can not eliminate social media from their lives, but we can assure that they have the tools to deal within their minds. Last, there should be meditation and yoga activities forone hour in day. This will help them relax, and increase their mental strength. This increase positive change in the student's lives. In conclusion, lives of students are full of academic, and social demands that have left them more anxious. Eventhough, there are many reasons that contribute to those stresses, by implementing effective solution to these mentioned problems will help students to come out from this phenomenon, and enjoy every moment in their lives.
These days, there has been rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on children by the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
, and commercial sectors which lead a child to feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, anxious and worried. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this phenomenon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures can
be taken
to mitigate the harmful effects of these pressures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two major factors which
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develope
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, rising standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
, and peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. During each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
year,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childeren
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun exam seems to be countable; consider using: "many exams".
many exam
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, and complete their homework to achieve high grades. These exams can put children, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
under increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to satisfy their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
expectations.
In addition
to this, parents have high expectations to the point of giving their children performance anxiety in school.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in India study on an average fifteen hours per day. Another cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
force their friends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms. This means they spend more time on
Possible spelling mistake found.
socialmedia
like Instagram, YouTube, and try to be cool.
Therefore
, increasing dependence on
Possible spelling mistake found.
socialmedia
develops more anxiety them.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthless
, there are a few counter measures that should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
First
, the high set of standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
should
be lowered
,
Rather
, there should
be balanced
approach in all the level of education system. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to avoid heavy burden of study time table, and they might even perform better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it. Second, support grades, and counselling session should
be made
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to deal their problems. We can not eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can assure that they have the tools to deal within their minds. Last, there should be meditation and yoga activities
Possible spelling mistake found.
forone
hour in day. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them relax, and increase their mental strength. This increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the student's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
demands that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them more anxious.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that contribute to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stresses
, by implementing effective solution to these mentioned problems will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from this phenomenon, and enjoy every moment in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Children Are More Pressures Nowadays From Academic, Social And Commercial Perspectives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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