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Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Do you agree or disagree?

Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Yw20N
n recent years, the responsibility of schools to avoid students against unhealthy food is on the rise. While I accept that children also restrict their diet with a lot of fast food, I agree that school should take the leading role to address this problem. On one hand, some teenagers think that fast-food chains are very standardized so no matter where they go, is very convenient. Nowadays, this type of food is especially for children because junk food is cheap and affordable for young people. However, eating junk food associated with diseases or health risks can threaten the life of people. I believe that they should change unhealthy diet and do more exercise in their leisure time in order to decrease the calories in their body. On the other hand, I would argue that apart from the changes in children’s diet, schools also need to have social responsibility. As children spend almost their time in school, the teacher’s job is that educate students about a negative impact on society if people eat lots of junk food such as pizza, burgers. Moreover, the school administrator should reduce the calories in meals and replace junk food with a healthy diet for teenagers. In conclusion, although children should decline their meals, I believe they need to have the responsibility to deal with this issue.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
n
recent years, the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to avoid students against unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is on the rise. While I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
restrict their diet with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should take the leading role to address this problem.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food chains are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
standardized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no matter where they go, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. Nowadays, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and affordable for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
associated with diseases or health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
can threaten the life of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I believe that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
unhealthy diet and do more exercise in their leisure time in order to decrease the calories in their body.

On the other hand
, I would argue that apart from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
diet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
need to have social responsibility. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend almost their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the teacher’s job is that educate students about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eat lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as pizza, burgers.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
administrator should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the calories in meals and replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with a healthy diet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should decline their meals, I believe they need to have the responsibility to deal with this issue.
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IELTS essay Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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