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Nowadays neighbors depend on each other less than the people in the past

Nowadays neighbors depend on each other less than the people in the past GMoPx
There is no doubt that today neighbors depend on each other less than in the past. The world has changed. The fast pace of lives and the fast growing of cities affect neighbors’ relationship. First, the rapid pace of lives makes people hurry for their businesses, so people won’t have time to give attention to their neighbors. Students have their packed study schedules same as adults who have to compete with the aggressive competition in the business world. As a result, each day, there are only a little time left for them and they would better spend this time for relaxing or doing other things rather than having a business with the neighbors. Take myself as example, I’m a student and every day I have to leave home for school at 8. 00 AM. and then I have a part time job to do after finish studying. I usually arrive home after 10. 00 PM. with a lots of feeling exhausted, so I need time to relax and refresh myself because I also still have my homework to do. So there is no doubt that I don’t have time to have conversation to my neighbors. Second, the fast growing of cities effects safety and decreases trust to neighbors. Cities provide people jobs and other opportunities, so many people from different background, different culture, ethnicity, are congested in the cities. These factors can interfere and can be barrier for neighbors’ relationship. For example, San Francisco has a lot of people from around the world. Even though it is a good place for education and jobs, crime rates also remain high every years. Using mobile phone on the street opens the door for thieves to take your phone and run away. Even though you ask for catching the thief from people who walk around on the street, it’s rarely to get help because nobody knows you so they won’t help. Another case is that even though you stay in your house, it’s still not safe and often happened on the news that people are stolen their valuable things in their house while they are sleeping or staying in their house. Furthermore, sometimes the thieves are your neighbors! In the past, it’s a small town and we know who are our neighbors and they usually live there for a long time. So, we can trust each other. In contrast, today the city neighbor is opposite. In conclusion, I agree that the fast pace of lives and the fast expanding of the cities impact to neighbors’ attitude to each other, so they less depend on each other than people in previous generation.
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
depend on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
less than in the past. The world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
growing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors’
relationship.

First
, the rapid pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hurry for their businesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to give attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
. Students have their packed study schedules same as adults who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with the aggressive competition in the business world.
As a result
, each day, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they would better spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxing or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things
rather
than having a business with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
. Take myself as example, I’m a student and every day I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home for school at 8. 00 AM. and then I have a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job to do after finish studying. I
usually
arrive home after 10. 00 PM. with
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of feeling exhausted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax and refresh myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
also
still
have my homework to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is no doubt that I don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to have conversation to my neighbors.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
growing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
effects safety and decreases trust to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture, ethnicity,
are congested
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. These factors can interfere and can be barrier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors’
relationship.
For example
, San Francisco has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from around the world.
Even though
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place for education and jobs, crime rates
also
remain high every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "year"?
years
. Using mobile phone on the street opens the door for thieves to take your phone and run away.
Even though
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
catching the thief from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who walk around on the street, it’s rarely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nobody knows you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Another case is that
even though
you stay in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, it’s
still
not safe and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
happened on the news that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are stolen
their valuable things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
while they are sleeping or staying in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the thieves are your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
! In the past, it’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
town and
we know who are our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
neighbors and
they
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can trust each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbor
is opposite.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
expanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors’
attitude to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they less depend on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in previous generation.
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IELTS essay Nowadays neighbors depend on each other less than the people in the past

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
438 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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