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Nowadays, nations are becoming more interesting and developing better thanks to the mixing of different nationalities and cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, nations are becoming more interesting and developing better thanks to the mixing of different nationalities and cultures. bbXO6
Currently, there is a widespread concern about the impacts of having a mixture of different nationalities and cultures on developing countries. Some believe these diversities will lead to positive improvements in our planet, but others argue that tension may be created due to the mixing of nationalities and cultures. From my point of view, I strongly support the former. To start with, there is no doubt that these diversities can boost the growth of countries. Workers regardless of nationalities have opportunities to cooperate and get along with others to exchange experiences of working or learning. Therefore, they are capable of contributing to countries’ development. For instance, the Japanese workers are extremely good at creating modern technology while the VietNamese are skillful so when they cooperate on manufacturing computers, the effect will be enhanced. Moreover, thanks to the combination of different specific cultural characteristics imported from over the world, countries become more entertaining. People from different nations can get a chance to explore various fashion styles, customs, cuisine and living patterns. It is acknowledged that cultural diversity can improve the quality of human lives because they will be cheerful when integrating into a new unique culture by joining some unique festivals and traditions of other countries. By contrast, some people think differently on this question. They claim that there are national and cultural clashes, leading to violence and religious wars. Hence, countries are facing up to a variety of social difficulties. No one can deny this idea, but the benefits of multiculturalism and multinationals to the growth of the economy and countries outweigh any drawbacks. To sum up, I totally believe that when hosting a mixture of nationalities and cultures, countries can become fascinating and develop for the better.
Currently
, there is a widespread concern about the impacts of having a mixture of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
on developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe these diversities will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvements in our planet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others argue that tension may
be created
due to the mixing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. From my point of view, I
strongly
support the former.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there is no doubt that these diversities can boost the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Workers regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
have opportunities to cooperate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with others to exchange experiences of working or learning.
Therefore
, they are capable of contributing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
development.
For instance
, the Japanese workers are
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at creating modern technology while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNamese
are skillful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they cooperate on manufacturing computers, the effect will
be enhanced
.

Moreover
, thanks to the combination of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
specific cultural characteristics imported from over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
become more entertaining.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to explore various fashion styles, customs, cuisine and living patterns. It
is acknowledged
that cultural diversity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be cheerful when integrating into a new unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by joining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique festivals and traditions of other countries.

By contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
on this question. They claim that there are national and cultural clashes, leading to violence and religious wars.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing up to a variety of social difficulties. No one can deny this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits of multiculturalism and multinationals to the growth of the economy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
outweigh any drawbacks.

To sum up, I
totally
believe that when hosting a mixture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can become fascinating and develop for the better.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, nations are becoming more interesting and developing better thanks to the mixing of different nationalities and cultures.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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