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Nowadays mostly youngsters indulge in criminal activities. Why so and how it can be stopped?

Nowadays mostly youngsters indulge in criminal activities. Why so and how it can be stopped? 2abxj
In the cutting edge era, it can be seen that criminal activities are mostly done by youngsters. This essay intends to analyse problems and solutions in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, almost every youngsters watch violent movies. To explain it, they follow activities which are done by the celebrities in movies and songs like, shooting enemies. For example, according to the headlines of ' The Tribune' 90% of crimes are caused by violation created by singers and actors. To mitigate it, government should take strict steps and should ban on violent movies and songs. Thus, crimes can be solved by some leg breaking laws by lawmakers. On the other hand, parents have their own hectic schedule. In other words, they have not free time to guide their children and to give them correct knowledge as they are busy in their stressful life. For instance, it can be seen that mostly children with careless parents have seen on the chronic way of life. To solve it, parents should look over their children and they should not allowed their child to use phone unnecessary. Thus, crime cases can be reduced if parents do not give facilities to their child in excess. To conclude, according to half of the population it is considered that criminal activities are mostly done by youngsters due to many opportunities provided to them by their parents and youngs set celebrities as their role models.
In the cutting edge era, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that criminal activities are
mostly
done by youngsters. This essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
problems and solutions in upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, almost every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "youngster"?
youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
violent movies. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, they follow activities which
are done
by the celebrities in movies and songs like, shooting enemies.
For example
, according to the headlines of
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
The Tribune' 90% of crimes
are caused
by violation created by singers and actors. To mitigate it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take strict steps and should ban on violent movies and songs.
Thus
, crimes can
be solved
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leg breaking laws by lawmakers.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hectic schedule.
In other words
, they have not free time to guide their children and to give them correct knowledge as they are busy in their stressful life.
For instance
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
mostly
children with careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the chronic way of life. To solve it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should look over their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "allow"
allowed
their child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phone unnecessary.
Thus
, crime cases can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not give facilities to their child in excess.
To conclude
, according to half of the population it
is considered
that criminal activities are
mostly
done by youngsters due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities provided to them by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
set celebrities as their role models.
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IELTS essay Nowadays mostly youngsters indulge in criminal activities. Why so and how it can be stopped?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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