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In many countries , life expectancy is increasing

In many countries, life expectancy is increasing p1RDd
It is widely accepted that, for most people, their daily working lives will not be spent in their dream jobs. Despite this, I do not feel that people should instead prioritize becoming a high earner above all other concerns. To begin with, I strongly believe that people need stimulation in their daily working lives in order to feel a sense of reward. Very few of us can go through an entire career staying in a position or an industry that we find boring purely for the financial incentive. Secondly, there are so many people who see their working life as a search for fulfilment and contentment in helping others, rather than a search for wealth. It seems unlikely that the priority for, say, every nurse or teacher in the world is to become well-off, and jobs such as these are rarely extremely well-paid. Despite this, some would argue that those people who have families to support should always prioritize earning a high income; after all, it means securing their children's future. Others point out that, as the job market becomes increasingly unstable across the globe, it is vital to earn more and therefore save more. However, I do not agree that a good salary should necessarily be the number one concern for everyone. Too many people become preoccupied with the next pay rise or career move, and eventually become unhappy or even depressed, neither of which helps them to save or to provide for their family. In summary, earning as much money as is humanly possible should not be anyone's main concern. Granted, it arguably brings financial stability, for individuals and for their families, but it is simply not worth tolerating a lifetime of unhappiness at work purely for the money.
It is
widely
accepted
that, for most
people
, their daily working
lives
will not
be spent
in their dream jobs. Despite this, I do not feel that
people
should
instead
prioritize becoming a high earner
above all
other concerns.

To
begin
with, I
strongly
believe that
people
need stimulation in their daily working
lives
in order to feel a sense of reward.
Very
few of us can go through an entire career staying in a position or an industry that we find boring
purely
for the financial incentive.
Secondly
, there are
so
many
people
who
see
their working life as a search for
fulfilment
and contentment in helping others,
rather
than a search for wealth. It seems unlikely that the priority for, say, every nurse or teacher in the world is to
become
well-off, and jobs such as these are rarely
extremely
well-paid.

Despite this,
some
would argue that those
people
who have families to support should always prioritize earning a high income;
after all
, it means securing their children's future. Others point out that, as the job market
becomes
increasingly
unstable across the globe, it is vital to earn more and
therefore
save more.
However
, I do not
agree
that a
good
salary should
necessarily
be the number one concern for everyone. Too
many
people
become
preoccupied with the
next
pay rise or career
move
, and
eventually
become
unhappy or even depressed, neither of which
helps
them to save or to provide for their family.

In summary, earning as much money as is
humanly
possible should not be anyone's main concern. Granted, it
arguably
brings financial stability, for individuals and for their families,
but
it is
simply
not worth tolerating a lifetime of unhappiness at work
purely
for the money.
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IELTS essay In many countries, life expectancy is increasing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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