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Nowadays most of the people have put their confidential matters in online. Some people argue that there are undoubtedly abuse this personal information. However I believe that the convenience of putting such data on the internet outweighs the negative aspects.

Nowadays most of the people have put their confidential matters in online. Some people argue that there are undoubtedly abuse this personal information. However I believe that the convenience of putting such data on the internet outweighs the negative aspects. KYQgL
Firstly, personal information which is held online may be stolen or misused in same way by cybercriminals. For example in this era online banking is common. So that people must trust the security measures put in place by banks and by companies to ensure that their bank account details are secure from computer hackers. Strict codes of conduct minimise the crime although some criminals can access all kinds of personal information which people naively provide on social or networking sites, such as facebook and instagram. Therefore, users of these sites may find that they are victims of online scams. Secondly, the storage of personal information online is huge helpful in various ways. On the one hand, it enables people to pay for goods ordered over the internet. For instance, one can visit to the shops or the bank have been simply clicking a computer key in this way the enormous advantage is time consuming. Secondly, friends and family members who have access to the internet are able to keep in touch freely and easily. Thus, sharing personal details online for business or pleasure has accelerated the flow of information and is user friendly, and therefore, old ways of doing things have become obsolete. In conclusion, despite the risks of personal online information falling into the wrong hands. I would argue that the convenience of sharing this information outweighs these risks.
Firstly
,
personal
information
which
is held
online
may
be stolen
or misused in same
way
by cybercriminals.
For example
in this era
online
banking is common.
So
that
people
must
trust the security measures put in place by banks and by
companies
to ensure that their bank account
details
are secure from computer hackers. Strict codes of conduct
minimise
the crime although
some
criminals can access all kinds of
personal
information
which
people
naively
provide on social or networking sites, such as
facebook
and
instagram
.
Therefore
, users of these sites may find that they are victims of
online
scams.

Secondly
, the storage of
personal
information
online
is huge helpful in various
ways
. On the one hand, it enables
people
to pay for
goods
ordered over the internet.
For instance
, one can visit to the shops or the bank have been
simply
clicking a computer key in this
way
the enormous advantage is
time consuming
.
Secondly
, friends and family members who have access to the internet are able to
keep
in touch
freely
and
easily
.
Thus
, sharing
personal
details
online
for business or pleasure has accelerated the flow of
information
and is
user friendly
, and
therefore
,
old
ways
of doing things have become obsolete.

In conclusion
, despite the
risks
of
personal
online
information
falling into the
wrong
hands. I would argue that the convenience of sharing this
information
outweighs these
risks
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most of the people have put their confidential matters in online. Some people argue that there are undoubtedly abuse this personal information. However I believe that the convenience of putting such data on the internet outweighs the negative aspects.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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