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Some people say it is the government’s responsibility to transport children to school. While others believe that parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views

Some people say it is the government’s responsibility to transport children to school. While others believe that parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views kjkdn
The debate surrounding whether transporting children to school should be the government or parent’s duty is one of the most charged discussions in education. I will discuss both these views in my essay below. On the one hand, I do believe that transporting youngsters to school is not a government obligation. However, it would be impeccable if the government is accommodating to share this responsibility with parents. this support does not just benefit the parents but also the whole community. To be more specific, this will be a nosedive in the time that parents and children must spend to go to school and parents can adjust their work schedules which enhances general productivity. In addition, it helps to lessen the journey from home to school, which is conducive to reducing traffic congestion during rush hour and children’s safety. There are several ways to implement this support.   Firstly, the government can set up intercity public transport such as bus routes, etc to carry students to school. Secondly, the government should guarantee sufficient public schools in each district for children. On the other hand, I advocate that taking children to school is the parent’s duty. First and foremost, every family should be in charge of transportation to school to ensure their children’s security. In the light of being surrounded by numerous regular perilous circumstances including crashes, kidnapping, etc. , parents ought to be more preoccupied and apprehensive about things that can happen to their kids. Moreover, in modern life, dropping- off and picking -up the child presumably is the short period of time in a day that parents can have a conversation with their child, which shows the solicitude of the parents. To recapitulate, I believe that parents should mainly take charge of transporting children to school. However, government support is inevitably needed to relieve the burden of parents.
The debate surrounding whether transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
duty is one of the most charged discussions in education. I will discuss both these views in my essay below.

On the one hand, I do believe that transporting youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
obligation.
However
, it would be impeccable if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is accommodating to share this responsibility with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
support does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the whole community. To be more specific, this will be a nosedive in the time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can adjust their work schedules which enhances general productivity.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to lessen the journey from home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is conducive to reducing traffic congestion during rush hour and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
safety. There are several ways to implement this support.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can set up intercity public transport such as bus routes, etc to carry students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should guarantee sufficient public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in each district for children.

On the other hand
, I advocate that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
duty.
First
and foremost, every family should be in charge of transportation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
security. In the light of
being surrounded
by numerous regular perilous circumstances including crashes, kidnapping, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to be more preoccupied and apprehensive about things that can happen to their kids.
Moreover
, in modern life, dropping- off and picking -up the child presumably is the short period of time in a day that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can have a conversation with their child, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the solicitude of the parents.

To recapitulate, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
mainly
take charge of transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support is
inevitably
needed to relieve the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Some people say it is the government’s responsibility to transport children to school. While others believe that parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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