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Nowadays, most of the media organs give so many time for famous people's lifestyle and their relationship with other type of celebrities like sportspersons, influencers etc.

Nowadays, most of the media organs give so many time for famous people's lifestyle and their relationship with other type of celebrities like sportspersons, influencers etc. 2bdrM
Nowadays, most of the media organs give so many time for famous people's lifestyle and their relationship with other type of celebrities like sportspersons, influencers etc. In contrast, I believe that they can be give more attention for unpopular people on TV or newspaper. Celebrities are an important part our world. When most people, especially young generation, see some information about them on different kind of media organs such as internet, magazines, television or social media, they want to imitate their behaviours, lives and styles. However, sometimes it has bad affects for young generations. For instance, some famous people have bad reputation because of the drugs, cigarettes or abuse, so if the media organs spend too much time for them, these causes affect children’s behaviour and development. On the other hand, that does not mean the media share anything about celebrities. Also, they should give us information about both celebrities and ordinary people equally because large number of people are interesting in some ordinary’s people success or their life. According to young people, these reports can be boring or dissatisfying for them but especially elder people want to follow these kind of information during the most their daily time. This become a source of inspiration for many who found themselves in a similar position. To sum up, as far as I am concerned the media should approach celebrities and ordinary people at the same distance and they should pay same attention about their lives and behaviours before reporting the news
Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
organs give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "many times".
many time
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle and their relationship with other type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
, influencers etc.
In contrast
, I believe that they can be give more attention for unpopular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on TV or newspaper.

Celebrities are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part our world. When most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young generation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about them on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
organs such as internet, magazines, television or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they want to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and styles.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
affects for young generations.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reputation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the drugs, cigarettes or abuse,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
organs spend too much time for them, these causes affect children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and development.

On the other hand
, that does not mean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
share anything about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
Also
, they should give us information about both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Did you mean "interested"?
interesting
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ordinary’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
success or their life. According to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these reports can be boring or dissatisfying for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
especially
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to follow
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of information during the most their daily time. This become a

source of inspiration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who found themselves in a similar position.

To sum up, as far as I
am concerned
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
distance and
they should pay same attention about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reporting the news
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IELTS essay Nowadays, most of the media organs give so many time for famous people's lifestyle and their relationship with other type of celebrities like sportspersons, influencers etc.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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