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Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. v. 1
The world today uses more renewable energy than ever before since it contributes to the preservation of the environment and is economically sound; however, some argue that green energy could undermine the reliability of the global supply as a result of its dependency on climatic and meteorological phenomena. This essay will examine both views, but personally, I strongly advocate the adoption of renewable sources of energy. On the one hand, opponents of renewables claim that the world could face disruptions to the power supply should they be fully adopted. This is largely due to the fact that many green energy technologies currently in use depend on changeable and unpredictable phenomena such as wind, rain and cloud cover. To take the fastest growing sector as an example, solar panels can only be used in the presence of strong and direct sunlight, and although the problem of directness has already been somewhat solved with moving panel arrays, a cloudy few days could still result in a blackout if we depended entirely on solar power; something that is unlikely to occur today given current oil stockpiles. However, fossil fuels are a larger threat to energy security since they are certainly finite in quantity, whereas renewable energy is effectively infinite; once the Earth’s oil is depleted, there will be no energy security without green energy technologies. Furthermore, problems of unpredictability can be mitigated by improving battery technologies (to create a larger buffer), building more renewable energy generators (to increase supply during ideal conditions) and improving current technologies (to increase efficiency), such as in the moving solar panel example. Proponents of renewables therefore claim that they are the most economically sound option. To conclude, while many may believe that green energy technologies are a threat to energy security, the fossil fuels they frequently promote are a greater threat, and renewables are in fact the only sound option, both economically and environmentally.
The world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
since it contributes to the preservation of the environment and is
economically
sound;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
could undermine the reliability of the global supply
as a result
of its dependency on climatic and meteorological phenomena. This essay will examine both views,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
personally
, I
strongly
advocate the adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
sources of energy.

On the one hand, opponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewables
claim that the world could face disruptions to the power supply should they be
fully
adopted. This is
largely
due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
currently
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
depend on changeable and unpredictable phenomena such as wind, rain and cloud cover. To take the fastest growing sector as an example, solar panels can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the presence of strong and direct sunlight, and although the problem of directness has already been somewhat solved with moving panel arrays, a cloudy few days could
still
result in a blackout if we depended
entirely
on solar power; something
that is
unlikely to occur
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
oil stockpiles.

However
, fossil fuels are a larger threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
security since they are
certainly
finite in quantity, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
effectively
infinite; once the Earth’s oil
is depleted
, there will be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
security without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
Furthermore
, problems of unpredictability can
be mitigated
by improving battery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
(to create a larger buffer), building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generators (to increase supply during ideal conditions) and improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
(to increase efficiency), such as in the moving solar panel example. Proponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewables
therefore
claim that they are the most
economically
sound option.

To conclude
, while
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
security, the fossil fuels they
frequently
promote are a greater threat, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewables
are in fact the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sound option, both
economically
and
environmentally
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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