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Nowadays most developing countries sent their money towards productive sector (tourism, industry, factories) when achieving their economical success rather than spending money to service sector (health, education ) what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays most developing countries sent their money towards productive sector (tourism, industry, factories) when achieving their economical success rather than spending money to service sector (health, education ) what extent X7goE
As a new trend, productive sector has become more noteworthy field of economic sector in most developing conutries rather than the service sector, when they are investing funds in those fields. By this movement, I firmly believe that those under-developed countries will be able to achieve their expected economic growth as they planned befoer. Manufacturing sector plays prominent role not only the developing country but also developed countries. For instance industrial sector countinously provide goods and services to their target market and also generate huge income. Under this circumstances, under-developed nation has turned to spent their funds to earn high profit. By spending money in service sector, such as health and education, which are created better infarstructure in the society, in addition that will benefit a social service for a whole developing countries. However, as a nation, when they are attaining their economic development investment in service sector may not be a supportive action. That is why, nowadays they are change their investment behavior. Intelligent investment always gain long term success in every field in the economy. In conclusion, as per my view, I totally believe this type of financial behavior will make better development in all the developing countries in the world.
As a new trend, productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has become more noteworthy field of economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
Possible spelling mistake found.
conutries
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, when they are investing funds in those fields. By this movement, I
firmly
believe that those under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be able to achieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
economic growth as they planned
Possible spelling mistake found.
befoer
. Manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
plays prominent role not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
Possible spelling mistake found.
countinously
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to their target market and
also
generate huge income. Under
Did you mean "these"?
this
circumstances, under-developed nation has turned to spent their funds to earn high profit. By spending money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, such as health and education, which
are created
better
Possible spelling mistake found.
infarstructure
in the society,
in addition
that will benefit a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
.
However
, as a nation, when they are attaining their economic development investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
may not be a supportive action.
That is
why, nowadays they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their investment behavior. Intelligent investment always gain long term success in every field in the economy.
In conclusion
, as per my view, I
totally
believe this type of financial behavior will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better development in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most developing countries sent their money towards productive sector (tourism, industry, factories) when achieving their economical success rather than spending money to service sector (health, education ) what extent

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
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Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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