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Do children nowadays watch too much TV?

Do children nowadays watch too much TV? 3WNgn
These day, children spend a lot of time in front of the TV. They use almost of the spare time to watch TV, which is believed to damage childrens’ eyes. We can see that, more than a half children have to were glasses to go to school, it is a lot more than in the past. Although parents always worry about that problem, they are too busy to manage the amount of time that their children watching TV. Children nowadays watch too much TV for three reasons. Firstly, the parents are busy and put their children in front of the TV. They are very stress after hard day at work so they are too tired to play with their kids. The children will concentrate on the TV and do not make their parents annoyed. However, this can make their children addicted to TV and it is very difficult for their parents to entice children to do other activities. Secondly, every family has television in their house and it is very easy to turn on and watch it. Therefore, when the children are at home and have nothing to do. They always choose the TV instead of playing sport or outdoor activities. Children nowadays are much lazier than in the past. They do not really like to play sport because it requires a lot of time and patience. Thirdly, TV shows and programs are becoming more vivid and colorful, therefore children are attracted. Moreover, the content of each film are very exciting and attractive especially the cartoons. Cartoons contain fantasy characters, special effects and funny storyline. In conclusion, children watch too much TV had led to many reson above. I think it is good if children watch TV in a short time a day and they should go out, play in the garden with friends to have more fun. Prevent watching too much TV can help the children improve their eyesight. Also, do a lot of outdoor activities can help children improve their health.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the TV. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
almost of the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV, which
is believed
to damage
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
’ eyes. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, more than a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
were glasses to go to school, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more than in the past. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always worry about that problem, they are too busy to manage the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching TV.

Children nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
TV for three reasons.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy and put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in front of the TV. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are too tired to play with their kids. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will concentrate on the TV and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
annoyed.
However
, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
addicted to TV and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to entice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do other activities.

Secondly
, every family has television in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to turn on and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it.
Therefore
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are at home and have nothing to do. They always choose the TV
instead
of playing sport or outdoor activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
nowadays are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
lazier than in the past. They do not
really
like to play sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and patience.

Thirdly
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and programs are becoming more vivid and colorful,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are attracted
.
Moreover
, the content of each film are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting and attractive
especially
the cartoons. Cartoons contain fantasy characters, special effects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
storyline.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
TV had led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
reson
above. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they should go out, play in the garden with friends to have more fun.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Prevent
watching too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
TV can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their eyesight.
Also
, do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of outdoor activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.
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IELTS essay Do children nowadays watch too much TV?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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