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Nowadays most developing countries receive financial aid from international organizations. However, many people believe that help in a form of advice and skill is more important and useful than money. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.1

Nowadays most developing countries receive financial aid from international organizations. However, many people believe that help in a form of advice and skill is more important and useful than money. v. 1
With the continuous development of the Internet all around the world, people have had different views about its function. While I accept that the Internet has a significant role to play in communication, I firmly hold that it is not a reliable source of information. Nowadays, the Internet is widely regarded as a crucial factor in connecting among individuals. This is because the Internet has offered users with high speed and low-priced connection, which may facilitate their communication. As a result, people can effortlessly communicate regardless of distance. For example, in the past, people usually wrote handwritten letters to keep in contact with family, friends or colleagues which may take the receivers days or weeks to get those letters; while these days, they can use electronic mail as a more convenient and faster method of exchanging messages, which is especially effective in business. However, I support the view that the Internet is not a rational choice in collecting data. Although the Internet is a great source of information, it is an arduous task to control the quality because anyone can upload the information without verification, therefore, the users should pay more attention when discriminating between sources. Take Coronavirus disease as an example, in Vietnam, there were numerous of wrong information about the numbers of the victims and a large number of people seemed unable to distinguish fake news from the verified sort. This is an ominous situation because an increase in misinformation will create significant public confusion about the current event. In conclusion, the Internet certainly has its advantages in communication, but I believe that gathering information online still has many drawbacks that cannot be ignored.
With the continuous development of the Internet all around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about its function. While I accept that the Internet has a significant role to play in communication, I
firmly
hold that it is not a reliable source of information.

Nowadays, the Internet is
widely
regarded as a crucial factor in connecting among individuals. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the Internet has offered users with high speed and low-priced connection, which may facilitate their communication.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
effortlessly
communicate regardless of distance.
For example
, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
wrote handwritten letters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with family, friends or colleagues which may take the receivers days or weeks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
those letters; while these days, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic mail as a more convenient and faster method of exchanging messages, which is
especially
effective in business.

However
, I support the view that the Internet is not a rational choice in collecting data. Although the Internet is a great source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, it is an arduous task to control the quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
anyone can upload the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
without verification,
therefore
, the users should pay more attention when discriminating between sources. Take Coronavirus disease as an example, in Vietnam, there were numerous of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the numbers of the victims and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seemed unable to distinguish fake news from the verified sort. This is an ominous situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
an increase in misinformation will create significant public confusion about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In conclusion
, the Internet
certainly
has its advantages in communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks that cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays most developing countries receive financial aid from international organizations. However, many people believe that help in a form of advice and skill is more important and useful than money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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