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Nowadays most countries improved the standard of living true economic development but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages??

Nowadays most countries improved the standard of living true economic development but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages? ? pOqL
In most of the cases, increasing the living standard inversely affects the cultural ethics. Many countries has already faced a situation where improvement in the way of living ended up in losing social values. However, I will suggest that advantages and disadvantages both has to be considered equally. Firstly, it has become a trend these days to pretend to live high standard lives. Ofcourse, economic growth is essential for everyone but at this cost? Probably not. As, social and cultural norms such as social gatherings and maintenance of relations regardless of any expectations are an important part of a society. Moreover, thinking of just the money to achieve higher quality of life may harm your personal relations also. Thus, being money minded can make your richer in terms of bank balance but you may lose your loved ones. In contrast, living with the same standard and not trying to achieve more is also not appreciable. As well as, in this running world, one should not carry forward their old traditions, they should modify them in order to cope up with the rapidly changing society. Furthermore, it is seen that various countries has taken several steps to improve their economic growth but no steps has been taken to upgrade social values. Hence, a nation should not only focus on the financial growth. Lastly, as per my opinion, economic growth indeed plays a critical role but one should not forget their roots (traditional social values). Thus, the country should also put certain strategies and policies in order to sustain the social values of a society. Therefore, there should be a proper balance between improvement of living standards through economic growth and social values.
In most of the cases, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
inversely
affects the cultural ethics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
already faced a situation where improvement in the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
ended up in losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
However
, I will suggest that advantages and disadvantages both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be considered
equally
.

Firstly
, it has become a trend these days to pretend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ofcourse
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is essential for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at this cost?
Probably
not. As,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and cultural norms such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gatherings and maintenance of relations regardless of any expectations are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of a society.
Moreover
, thinking of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the money to achieve higher quality of life may harm your personal relations
also
.
Thus
, being money minded can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your richer in terms of bank balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you may lose your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
and not trying to achieve more is
also
not appreciable.
As well
as, in this running world, one should not carry forward their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions, they should modify them in order to cope up with the
rapidly
changing society.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that various countries has taken several steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no steps has
been taken
to upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
Hence
, a nation should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the financial growth.

Lastly
, as per my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
indeed
plays a critical role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one should not forget their roots (traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values).
Thus
, the country should
also
put certain strategies and policies in order to sustain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values of a society.
Therefore
, there should be a proper balance between improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most countries improved the standard of living true economic development but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages? ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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