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All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. WxON
People have different views about what should be learn the children the academic schooling. Some believe that schools should be focused on teaching skills, while others point out this may not be a suitable path, they suggest learning various subjects has great advantages for students prospects. In my opinion, teaching different subjects would be the first priority of the education, which reduced the unemployment in the society. On the one hand, there are convincing support for studying numerous subjects for all. Firstly, learning a range of subjects encourages the broadening of the mind. For example, students of history, art and literature tend to be tolerant and thoughtful and fulfill useful service careers in teaching, journalism, public relations and politics. Encouraging everyone to follow the several subjects would also push people towards lucrative professional roles, such as those held by doctors and lawyers positions that also bring great social prestige. On the other hand, despite these benefits, others argue that teaching a many subjects would be problematic at both societal and personal levels, and they suggest focusing on skills would be more effective. It should be noted that the building of houses and offices, the transporting of goods, and the production of furniture and appliances are essential to society and require skilled manual workers and tradespeople. Further, many youngsters naturally excel when working with their hands, because they have been exposed to these skills works at the schools. Forcing them to study a range of subjects would clearly be a waste of their time and abilities. This, children need to learn skills at their young ages. In conclusion, it can be seen that although pursuing a different subjects at school education has vast of merits than learning skills. In my opinion, the ideal way to ensure a child’s future is by having a curriculum that focuses on a broad range of subjects.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about what should be
Consider using the past participle "learned", "learnt"?
learn
the children the academic schooling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that schools should
be focused
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, while others point out this may not be a suitable path, they suggest learning various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
has great advantages for students prospects. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would be the
first
priority of the education, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the unemployment in the society.

On the one hand, there are convincing support for studying numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for all.
Firstly
, learning a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
encourages the broadening of the mind.
For example
, students of history, art and literature tend to be tolerant and thoughtful and fulfill useful service careers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
, journalism, public relations and politics. Encouraging everyone to follow the several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would
also
push
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards lucrative professional roles, such as those held by doctors and lawyers positions that
also
bring great social prestige.

On the other hand
, despite these benefits, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would be problematic at both societal and personal levels, and they suggest focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would be more effective. It should
be noted
that the building of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and offices, the transporting of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, and the production of furniture and appliances are essential to society and require skilled manual workers and tradespeople.
Further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters
naturally
excel when working with their hands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
been exposed
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
works at the schools. Forcing them to study a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would
clearly
be a waste of their time and abilities. This, children need to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at their young ages.

In conclusion
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that although pursuing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "subject"?
subjects
at school education has vast of merits than learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my opinion, the ideal way to ensure a child’s future is by having a curriculum that focuses on a broad range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
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IELTS essay All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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