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Some people behave in Anti social wave suggest meeting a crying some people think that society is responsible for this what do you think what are the causes of heat who should be responsible for dealing with this issue

Some people behave in Anti social wave suggest meeting a crying some people think that society is responsible for this what do you think what are the causes of heat who should be responsible for dealing with this issue dWGp
It is irrefutable that, nowadays, behaviour of mankind has changed as compared to past few decades as well as generally people think that society is responsible for it. Many reasons are there which are responsible for alteration in behaviour of human beings and increase their for procilivity their towards crimes such as unemployment and social media. According to my perception, it is the onus government to combat with this hurdle. undoubtedly, a broad range of reasons are responsible due to which individuals behaving in an unethical way like as to commit a crime. The prominent reason is that less availability of jobs because of which adults are not able to buy their butter and bread. In order to earn money they begin to commit crime either directly or indirectly and find it easy way to earn financial sources for fulfilling their ambitions as well as basic needs. Moreover, for making human beings to behave not in good manners social networking sites have also their hands in a great way. To precise it more, in today's era, many violent movies are released by the sensor board as adults have keen interest to watch violent movies and shows, owing to which they try to do these kind of activities practically in their real life. Not only violet movies and shows are repossible but media is also showing such kind of news which are related to illegal activities. Journalist do this for boosting the TRP rate of their channels by editing some attractive things. Thus, above mentioned twomeasure factors are increasing this issue. Moving further, to cope up with this problem government must take some steps. Jobs should be allocated by the administration to those youngsters who are free and have nothing to do. By this way they may become busy in their daily routines as well as can not only earn financial sources for themselves but also become able to give their contribution in nations development. Moreover, there should be censorship on movies and shows. Administration ought to ban those films in which violante scenes are displayed along with it implement some rules on the actress and director that what sort of movies they can produce In conclusion, although this hurdle has its massive impact on mankind but it had better authorities take some steps to tackle with this. People should also give their contribution to improve a society in which they live.
It is irrefutable that, nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of mankind has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as compared to past few decades
as well
as
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that society is responsible for it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reasons are there which are responsible for alteration in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of human beings and increase their for
Possible spelling mistake found.
procilivity
their towards crimes such as unemployment and social media. According to my perception, it is the onus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to combat with this hurdle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
undoubtedly
, a broad range of reasons are responsible due to which individuals behaving
Consider replacing "in an unethical way" with the adverb for "unethical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unethical way
like as to commit a crime. The prominent reason is that less availability of jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which adults are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their butter and bread. In order to earn money they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to commit crime either
directly
or
indirectly
and find it easy way to earn financial sources for fulfilling their ambitions
as well
as basic needs.
Moreover
, for making human beings to behave not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners social networking sites have
also
their hands
Consider replacing "in a great way" with the adverb for "great"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a great way
. To precise
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
more, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are released
by the sensor board as adults have keen interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, owing to which they try to do
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of activities
practically
in their real life. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
violet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
repossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
media is
also
showing such kind of news which
are related
to illegal activities. Journalist
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "does".
do
this for boosting the TRP rate of their channels by editing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
attractive things.
Thus
, above mentioned
Possible spelling mistake found.
twomeasure
factors are increasing this issue. Moving
further
, to cope up with this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps. Jobs should
be allocated
by the administration to those youngsters who are free and have nothing to do. By this way they may become busy in their daily routines
as well
as can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earn financial sources for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
become able to give their contribution in nations development.
Moreover
, there should be censorship on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. Administration ought to ban those films in which
Possible spelling mistake found.
violante
scenes
are displayed
along with it implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on the actress and director that what sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
they can produce
In conclusion
, although this hurdle has its massive impact on mankind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it had better authorities take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to tackle with this.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
also
give their contribution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a society in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Some people behave in Anti social wave suggest meeting a crying some people think that society is responsible for this what do you think what are the causes of heat who should be responsible for dealing with this issue

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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