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Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience BlPda
Electronic games are most popular in this modern world among the youngsters. Some people state that playing video games cause health issues while Others hold the view that physical activities and saocialization is the solutions. The first issue of video games is, mobile phone has raditions around it that are dangerous for body must be taken into account. Moreover, it is really harmful for eyes, for instance a children playing a video game on mobile phone or computer by sitting close to it that results in lose in his vision. The next problem is, sometimes teenagers spend their whole day just playing online games is watsage of time, they can use that time to learn their acedemics. Despite these problems, here is one of best solution, parents needs to involve their kids in physical activities that helps to get endurance and good physique. For example, as a youngster if you play sports with friends it helps to become a team player, learn how to coordinate and achievement of loose or win. Further more, playing with friends helps to become sociallize and stay away from lonliness and anxiety. All in all, it is evident that choosing entertainment via electronic devices instead of doing traditional leisure activities is malicious to children. Emphasis on less use of gadgets and more involvement in other activities must be given.
Electronic
games
are most popular in this modern world among the youngsters.
Some
people
state that
playing
video
games
cause health issues while Others hold the view that physical
activities
and
saocialization
is the solutions.

The
first
issue of video
games
is, mobile phone has
raditions
around it that are
dangerous
for body
must
be taken
into account.
Moreover
, it is
really
harmful for eyes,
for instance
a children
playing
a video game on mobile phone or computer by sitting close to it that results
in lose in
his vision. The
next
problem is,
sometimes
teenagers
spend their whole day
just
playing
online
games
is
watsage
of time, they can
use
that time to learn their
acedemics
.

Despite these problems, here is one
of best
solution, parents needs to involve their kids in physical
activities
that
helps
to
get
endurance and
good
physique.
For example
, as a youngster if you play sports with friends it
helps
to become a team player, learn how to coordinate and achievement of loose or win.
Further
more,
playing
with friends
helps
to become
sociallize
and stay away from
lonliness
and anxiety.

All in all, it is evident that choosing entertainment via electronic devices
instead
of doing traditional leisure
activities
is malicious to children. Emphasis on less
use
of gadgets and more involvement in other
activities
must
be
given
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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