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In the past people used to wear their traditional clothes depending on their culture. Nowadays the trend is changing and people wear different clothes. Is it a positive or negative development? How does it affect certain societies and people’s behaviour?

In the past people used to wear their traditional clothes depending on their culture. Nowadays the trend is changing and people wear different clothes. Is it a positive or negative development? How does it affect certain societies and people’s behaviour? 3A9jN
In the contemporary era, different fashionable attires are available in every market around the world. Resultantly, the trend of wearing cultural dresses has been dropped exponentially, and people are now more comfortable by putting on the latest designer clothes. However, I wholeheartedly deem that this changing pattern of dressing style surely brings positive effects to societies and individuals’ lives by developing a sense of a part of globalization. Adopting a new way and style of wearing dresses helps people brings changes in their lives by putting new things. In other words, when individuals try new dresses, it is possible for them to get out of the monotonous looking of wearing traditional outfits for a long time. Therefore, in order to lead a vibrant life, it is of paramount importance to wear different attires. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by the UK fashion industry reveals that the more the society easily adopts state-of-the-art fashion, the more the people are open-minded and happy. The trend of not wearing traditional clothes and liking fashionable dresses is beneficial for any country in that the people of that nation can easily mingle with others, staying in another part of the world. To put it simply, wearing a unique type of traditional dress assuredly separate people from others, causing embarrassment for sometimes and hinder to do task comfortably as a member of the global village. Hence, so as to mix with anyone in the world, it is necessary not to wear cultural dresses for regular uses and try varieties of clothes depending on up to date fashion trends. In essence, the increasing habits of wearing different types of dresses rather than the following tradition is advantageous, for it helps to change mundane lifestyle and mix with other nations’ people easily.
In the contemporary era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fashionable attires are available in every market around the world.
Resultantly
, the trend of wearing cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
has
been dropped
exponentially
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more comfortable by putting on the latest designer clothes.
However
, I
wholeheartedly
deem that this changing pattern of dressing style
surely
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to societies and individuals’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by developing a sense of a part of globalization.

Adopting a new way and style of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
brings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by putting new things. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when individuals try new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
, it is possible for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the monotonous looking of wearing traditional outfits for a long time.
Therefore
, in order to lead a vibrant life, it is of paramount importance to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attires. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by the UK fashion industry reveals that the more the society
easily
adopts state-of-the-art fashion, the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are open-minded and happy.

The trend of not wearing traditional clothes and liking fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
is beneficial for any country in that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that nation can
easily
mingle with others, staying in another part of the world. To put it
simply
, wearing a unique type of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
assuredly
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from others, causing embarrassment for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
and hinder
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
to do
task
comfortably
as a member of the global village.
Hence
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
mix with anyone in the world, it is necessary not to wear cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
for regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
and try varieties of clothes depending on up to date fashion trends.

In essence, the increasing habits of wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
rather
than the following tradition is advantageous, for it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mundane lifestyle and mix with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
.
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IELTS essay In the past people used to wear their traditional clothes depending on their culture. Nowadays the trend is changing and people wear different clothes. Is it a positive or negative development? How does it affect certain societies and people’s behaviour?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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