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What are your goals? Talk about one that you achieved and you are proud to share.

What are your goals? Talk about one that you achieved and you are proud to share. 6N993
In this assignment, I will talk about how I achieved some of my goals and what has helped me to become what I always wanted. However, everybody in life has will and determination and we all are given a life to compose it special by achieving things that we always want and not letting obstruction stop us from chasing our dreams. People in the world have their goals, hopes, and dreams no matter they are children, teenagers, or adults. Normally their desires are changing while they are growing along. it is because of people with different requirements and thoughts. It’s amazing that when you became mature you start to think about things that you don’t normally think. Especially when you are the only son of the family No matter how hard it would be, most people would try their best to achieve their goals, hopes, and dreams. Yes, everyone cannot accomplish their goals for the first time and we don’t have to give up and letting our life down. In this Modern era, there are so many options to fulfil our needs. Each goal I have in life builds off the previous. To start an own business, marrying my fiancée, and Working in a prestigious company in a well-developed country is one of the main goals that I always dream to be and also, I think now I have already completed my first step to achieve this goal which I always aimed. Each goal has a connection to make my life a luxury. If I study well then, I can get a good job. If I get a good job then I can marry my fiancée. A beautiful wedding is planned within the next few years. My first path was to pursue a well-recognized higher study in a flourishing country. After Secondary school, I choose New Zealand to gain my Higher studies. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fulfil that because my parents had some financial difficulty. I was so depressed about my life. After some time, I realized being worrying about things that we couldn’t achieve is not make things right. Therefore, I worked so hard to sort my financial requirements and to come up with my needs which I always think of. But Obstructions never stopped. Again, I tried Australia and got my offer from the university I applied to. Then after due to some circumstance, they have cancelled the offer letter which I got. I have never stopped chasing my dreams from my wish list so then again, I applied for some other university, unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to enrolled in that university too. I have never fallen from these barriers. finally, last but not least I applied for Canadore college in Canada and They accepted me and I obtained my offer letter, then after I applied for the study permit and I received my permit in a month time and I came to Canada with so many obstacles during the pandemic period to start my studies. This is what I achieved as of now with so many barriers But I am really happy where am I today. After completing my studies, I will apply for permanent residence in Canada. The journey was will hard but somehow someday I will achieve everything that I always want and then I can be a proud son to my parents as well. I chase my dreams and nightmares will grow tired of chasing me.
In this assignment, I will talk about how I achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
and what has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to become what I always wanted.
However
, everybody in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has will and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
determination and
we all are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to compose it special by achieving things that we always want and not letting obstruction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
us from chasing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in the world have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
, hopes, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
no matter they are children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, or adults.
Normally
their desires are changing while they are growing along.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
requirements and thoughts. It’s amazing that when you became mature you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about things that you don’t
normally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
.
Especially
when you are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
son of the family No matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
it would be, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would try their best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
, hopes, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
. Yes, everyone cannot accomplish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
for the
first
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
we don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give up and letting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
down. In this Modern era, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to fulfil our needs.

Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
I have in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
builds off the previous. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, marrying my fiancée, and Working in a prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in a well-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
is one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
that I always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
to be and
also
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I have already completed my
first
step to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
which I always aimed. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
has a connection to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
a luxury. If I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
well then, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. If I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job then I can marry my fiancée. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
wedding
is planned
within the
next
few years.

My
first
path was to pursue a well-recognized higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a flourishing country. After Secondary school, I choose New Zealand to gain my Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fulfil that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my parents had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial difficulty. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
depressed about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, I realized being worrying about things that we couldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things right.
Therefore
, I worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to sort my financial requirements and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with my needs which I always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Obstructions never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
. Again, I tried Australia and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my offer from the university I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applied
to. Then after due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstance, they have cancelled the offer letter which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
. I have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
chasing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
from my wish list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
then again, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applied
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other university, unfortunately, I didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to enrolled in that university too. I have never fallen from these barriers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applied
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canadore
college in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Canada and
They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
me and I obtained my offer letter, then after I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applied
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
permit and I received my permit in a month time and I came to Canada with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles during the pandemic period to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This is what I achieved as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
barriers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I am
really
happy where am I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

After completing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, I will apply for permanent residence in Canada. The journey was will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
somehow someday I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
everything that I always want and then I can be a proud son to my parents
as well
. I chase my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
and nightmares will grow tired of chasing me.
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IELTS essay What are your goals? Talk about one that you achieved and you are proud to share.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
573 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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