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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation of committing it, should always be taken into account when decide deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.19

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation of committing it, should always be taken into account when decide deciding on the punishment. v. 19
In the modern world, some national argue that the fixing punishments of each sorts of infraction are the best policy for our community. However, other people argue that the process of fixed punishments is not a good style to control violation I think the punishment is a better way to solve all problems because in our community people will be awful before the crime. Therefore, in the coming paragraph I will explain both points. On the one hand, the fix punishment will have a deterring effect on our society. The individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment. If they are convicted with given case, and it will be reconsidered committing of this act in the first place. For example, In Saudi Arabia the people are very punctual because he knows that if he break any law then it will be punished. Although, they fix a retribution for bad habit. on the other hand, the taking the circumstances of a violation and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity. So sometime it will wrong because they punished innocent people. For instance, A person kills for it self defence cannot be compared to the serial killer moving from one victim to the next. In conclusion, After analysing all the information I reached in my opinion and intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect approach to establish and ensure Justice and equity. Furthermore, think both are important to improve our society and evil rate in our community
In the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "nationals"?
national
argue that the fixing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
of each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "sort"?
sorts
of infraction are the best policy for our community.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the process of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
style to control violation I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a better way to solve all problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in our community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be awful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the crime.
Therefore
, in the coming paragraph I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both points.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will have a deterring effect on our society. The individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. If they
are convicted
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
case, and it will
be reconsidered
committing of this act in the
first
place.
For example
, In Saudi Arabia the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
punctual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he knows that if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "breaks", "broke".
break
any law then it will
be punished
. Although, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
a retribution for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, the taking the circumstances of a violation and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
sometime it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they punished innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, A person kills for it
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defence
cannot
be compared
to the serial killer moving from one victim to the
next
.

In conclusion
, After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
all the information I reached in my opinion and intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect approach to establish and ensure Justice and equity.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our society and evil rate in our community
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation of committing it, should always be taken into account when decide deciding on the punishment. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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