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nowadays more people are looking for ways to cure their medical condition on the internet why do people do that? what are the results of such action?

nowadays more people are looking for ways to cure their medical condition on the internet why do people do that? what are the results of such action? B7E6V
In the modern era, The number of individuals who use mobile phone for different purpose are increasing. In recent time, Most people prefer to cure their medical condition by using mobile phone instead of going to the doctor. There are many causes behind this notion as well as some effects too. My inclination is justified in further paragraphs. To begin with, There are many reasons to cure their health at home. The foremost one is time saving. Many hospitals has huge queue of patients so many people who have diseases like headache and fever in that way they prefer to search on the internet and can get cure according to their disease in few seconds. Furthermore, trust issue is second one. Many doctors he might be possible of fake degree. They get that by giving use amount of money as a result patient don’t feel safe to go to hospitals. For an example according to government report in 2018, 20% of doctors who had fake degree and they run hospitals as a result many patients were die because of wrong treatment. Moreover, Many effects too. To get information regarding diseases by using internet. Firstly it will chances of spreading rumours. In recent time, Many people have huge social life. If they get any information they forward that to their family and friends and it maybe chances of wrong information on internet spreading. Secondly side effects on health as medicine is wrong. On the network many sites has wrong contain about treatment as well as if patient take some medicine which is not a part of their treatment that will affect on their body. Sometimes it chances of die. To conclude, Although there are plenty of reasons such as time consuming and trust issue for treatment by using internet however there are some negative effect too, Not only spreading of rumours but also side effect occurs.
In the modern era, The number of individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile phone for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purpose are increasing. In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to cure their medical condition by using mobile phone
instead
of going to the doctor. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes behind this notion
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects too. My inclination
is justified
in
further
paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to cure their health at home. The foremost one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
hospitals
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
huge queue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have diseases like headache and fever in that way they prefer to search on the internet and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cure according to their disease in few seconds.
Furthermore
, trust issue is second one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
doctors he might be possible of fake degree. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that by giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
amount of money
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
don’t feel safe to go to hospitals. For an example according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
report in 2018, 20% of doctors who had fake
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
degree and
they run hospitals
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
were
Consider using a past participle here: "died".
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
effects too. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information regarding diseases by using internet.
Firstly
it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "chance"
chances
of spreading
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
. In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have huge social life. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any information they forward that to their family and friends and it maybe chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
information on internet spreading.
Secondly
side effects on health as medicine is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. On the network
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sites has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
contain about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
as well
as if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicine which is not a part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
that will
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their body.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it chances of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
To conclude
, Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons such as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and trust issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
by using internet
however
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
too, Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spreading of
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
occurs.
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IELTS essay nowadays more people are looking for ways to cure their medical condition on the internet why do people do that? what are the results of such action?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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