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in some schools fast food restuarants give money to schools to promote their products. do you think it is a positive or a negative development.

in some schools fast food restuarants give money to schools to promote their products. do you think it is a positive or a negative development. B7Eom
In this contemporary era, many schools are promoting big companies such as fast-food restaurant and their food products. Such companies are giving some amount to schools also for commercials. In my conception, it is a big disadvantage for the school children. I will explain my views further. To begin with, fast-food restaurants attract children with their products to make a good profit. They develop a kind of taste in their mind which will show hazardous results later. Such ads also increase the level of obesity in them. For example, if an academy is promoting energy drinks this will decrease the value of milk among children. They will surely convince their parents of such drinks. Consequently, it can disturb the family budget because every parent cannot afford energy drinks for their kids regularly. Moreover, health-related issues can be seen among juveniles at a very young age. Problems like food poisoning and tooth decaying can be seen. What is more, it can destroy the mental peace of an individual. Procreators also have to face issues related to their children. To put an example, if institutes are promoting advertisements like toys and computer games, children would think that they have the approval of the school authority. They will surely force their parents to buy such things. This is the supporting statement for the people who opine that it is advantageous. Firstly, they think that the company will provide funds to the institutes which can help those who are financially unstable. Furthermore, this fund can help students to afford sports and other school facilities. But they are unaware that this commercialism promotes materialism. These materialistic things attract children which is not good. To sum up, this is definitely a negative development and this may lead to unhealthy eating.
In this contemporary era,
many
schools
are promoting
big
companies
such as
fast
-food restaurant and their food products. Such
companies
are giving
some
amount to
schools
also
for commercials. In my conception, it is a
big
disadvantage for the
school
children
. I will
explain
my views
further
.

To
begin
with,
fast
-food restaurants attract
children
with their products to
make
a
good
profit. They develop a kind of taste in their mind which will
show
hazardous results later. Such ads
also
increase the level of obesity in them.
For example
, if an academy is promoting energy drinks this will decrease the value of milk among
children
. They will
surely
convince their parents of such drinks.
Consequently
, it can disturb the family budget
because
every parent cannot afford energy drinks for their kids
regularly
.

Moreover
, health-related issues can be
seen
among juveniles at a
very
young age. Problems like food poisoning and tooth decaying can be
seen
.
What is more
, it can
destroy
the mental peace of an individual.
Procreators
also
have to
face issues related to their
children
. To put an example, if institutes are promoting advertisements like toys and computer games,
children
would
think
that they have the approval of the
school
authority. They will
surely
force their parents to
buy
such things.

This is the supporting statement for the
people
who opine that it is advantageous.
Firstly
, they
think
that the
company
will provide funds to the institutes which can
help
those who are
financially
unstable.
Furthermore
, this fund can
help
students to afford sports and other
school
facilities.
But
they are unaware that this commercialism promotes materialism. These materialistic things attract
children
which is not
good
.

To sum up, this is definitely a
negative
development and this may lead to unhealthy eating.
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IELTS essay in some schools fast food restuarants give money to schools to promote their products. do you think it is a positive or a negative development.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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