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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this is a negative development which can lead to isolation, potentially harmful situations and also problems later on in life

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this is a negative development which can lead to isolation, potentially harmful situations and also problems later on in life e5GpJ
Recently, a myriad of people involved to socialise online rather than face to face. In my opinion, this is a positive effect for individual people, while this has disadvantages in the development of societies and local communities. A major contributing factor of individual, people can easy to find some new friends who share the same interest. In other words, people nowadays can stay in touch with their friends instantaneously though social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and so on regardless of geographical barrier, whereas before the development of technology and online social networking, people rarely meet or communicate with people outside the immediate circle or community. In this regard, people can easy to develop a wide friend zone and their hobbies in online with people sharing the same interest. On the other hand, the effect that socializes online as chatting on Facebook has had on societies and local communities can be seen as negative. While people are taking part in the local community, they just choose to take more interest online. For instance, the teenagers in Hong Kong prefer to stay at home alone and have a chat with people who have never met face to face rather than hanging out with their real friends as well as joining social activities in local activities in the local community. Consequently, people are no longer keeping a close and supportive relationship. Furthermore, the community as a whole are increasingly becoming disjointed and fragmented. In conclusion, while there are advantages in individual, there are several serious drawbacks in the local community. Therefore, the government should more consider the impact of socialising online affecting the local community.
Recently, a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while this has disadvantages in the development of societies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.

A major contributing factor of individual,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can easy to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who share the same interest.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays can stay in touch with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
instantaneously
though social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on regardless of geographical barrier, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the development of technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
social networking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
or communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outside the immediate circle or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In this regard,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can easy to develop a wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
zone and their hobbies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sharing the same interest.

On the other hand
, the effect that
Do not mix variants of the same word ('socialize' and 'socialise') within a single text.
socializes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as chatting on Facebook has had on societies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
choose to take more interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in Hong Kong prefer to stay at home alone and have a chat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have never met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
rather
than hanging out with their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as well
as joining social activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no longer keeping a close and supportive relationship.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
as a whole are
increasingly
becoming disjointed and fragmented.

In conclusion
, while there are advantages in individual, there are several serious drawbacks in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should more consider the impact of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this is a negative development which can lead to isolation, potentially harmful situations and also problems later on in life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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