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The main reason for the high sale of consumer goods in today’s society is advertising. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The main reason for the high sale of consumer goods in today’s society is advertising. 56lON
It is considered that the consumer products’ sale is high enough and the main reason for it is advertising. I strongly believe that advertisements have a huge influence on society to buy items frequently because they see adverts everywhere and at the same time they help people to learn about new products. There are a plethora of places these days which are considered especially for commercials. As a result, ads are spreaded everywhere and in every corner: they are on the billboards near the highways, in the shopping malls and even at our buildings. People are surrounded by adverts and it is hard to avoid them when making a shopping decision. For instance, the New York Research centre conducted a survey in 2018 which highlighted that 87% of respondents at least once bought an item because of an ad. Meanwhile, only 13% of questioned people were not hooked on any commercial when buying anything. On the other side, advertisements help people to explore new products. Adverts help consumers to make an easy choice when they are going to buy a new type of product. This is one of the essential reasons why the sale of consumer goods is high. Moreover, there is a channel on TV which specialises on showing only advertisements. Thanks to that channel people find out more about new products. All in all, I agree with the opinion that advertisements help retailers to sell huge quantities of products as they outline new products and help people to know them
It
is considered
that the consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products’
sale is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and the main reason for it is advertising. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have a huge influence on society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
adverts everywhere and at the same time they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
products.

There are a plethora of places these days which
are considered
especially
for commercials.
As a result
, ads are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spread", the past tense form of the verb 'spread'?
spreaded
everywhere and in every corner: they are on the billboards near the highways, in the shopping malls and even at our buildings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are surrounded
by adverts and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to avoid them when making a shopping decision.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York Research
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
conducted a survey in 2018 which highlighted that 87% of respondents at least once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
an item
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an ad. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
13% of questioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not hooked on any commercial when buying anything.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Adverts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an easy choice when they are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This is one of the essential reasons why the sale of consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
is high.
Moreover
, there is a channel on TV which
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialises' is British English.
specialises
on showing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Thanks to that channel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find out more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
products.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
retailers to sell huge quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as they outline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know them
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IELTS essay The main reason for the high sale of consumer goods in today’s society is advertising.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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