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Nowadays more and more woman decide to have children later in their life. Why? Does the advantages or disadvantages.

Nowadays more and more woman decide to have children later in their life. Why? Does the advantages or disadvantages. OVN0E
In the modern life, many women decide to deliver a pupil later in their life. What is the main reason for that? First of all, many women around the world decides to have pupils later in their life because gain enough knowledge in their earliest age. Moreover women in there later age are almost stable financial and in the relationships. This leads to, a career and a stable relationship when you can think in building a family. For example, a woman like to be financial secure, like having house and a good job. Also is necessary to have stability in an relationship to can think about giving birth to a pupil. On the other hand, women can risk to face problems in their pregnancy at their later age. This means, some woman, develop the emotional sideline and risks to have problem in relationship. Additionally, some women in their late age expand enough skilled to give a bird to a pupil. This results in, the possible issue which can be amplified by the insecurities in taking a decision of making a family. Also, the option could be that few woman cannot give a bird from personal reason. For example: many women have problems in their relationship where could be related to the birth of a pupil, such as: toxic relationship, domestic violence and mental health. To conclude, many women preferred to deliver a pupil later in their life, because women in general have insecurity and admits to have financial situation first rather than a pupil without food.
In the modern life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
decide to deliver a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their life.

What is the main reason for that?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
around the world decides to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge in their earliest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are almost stable financial and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. This leads to, a career and a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
when you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in building a family.
For example
, a woman like to be financial secure, like having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
Also
is necessary to have stability in
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
to can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about giving birth to a pupil.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
The verb 'risk' is used with the gerund form: "risk facing".
risk to face
problems in their pregnancy at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This means,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
woman, develop the emotional sideline and
The verb 'risks' is used with the gerund form: "risks having".
risks to have
problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in their late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
expand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
skilled to give a bird to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
. This results in, the possible issue which can
be amplified
by the insecurities in taking a decision of making a family.
Also
, the option could be that few woman cannot give a bird from personal reason.
For example
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have problems in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
where could
be related
to the birth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
, such as: toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
, domestic violence and mental health.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
preferred to deliver a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in general
have insecurity and
The verb 'admits' is used with the gerund form: "admits having".
admits to have
financial situation
first
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
without food.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more woman decide to have children later in their life. Why? Does the advantages or disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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