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Finding a college carreer

Finding a college carreer qVNm5
Some people affirm that a big number of high school latino students don't have enough financial information to decide a college career. Students have to make a big decision when they are deciding their university and career. Searching for the best fit is not an easy job and there are millions of universities around the world. Something to take into account when you are searching for a university is the finances, you need to investigate if you and your parents have the enough income to study the whole career and pay your living expenses. When you are little it is not common to know the cost of a career. You start searching for what you want to study and what you like. When you grow and start searching for a university it is common to realise that they are very expensive and some people have to give up the university of their dreams because they can't afford it. Also there are programs of scholarships that can really help, the problem is that there's a lot of information and it is not well organized so it is very difficult to find the one that really fits you. In conclusion it is important to find a university depending on your likes and dislikes and when you find it you need to be patient and start searching for different opportunities, programs and scholarships to accomplish your dream.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
affirm that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of high school
Possible spelling mistake found.
latino
students don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
financial information to decide a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
decision when they are deciding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Searching
for the best fit is not an easy job and there are millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
around the world. Something to take into account when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the finances, you need to investigate if you and your parents have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
income to study the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and pay your living expenses.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
it is not common to know the cost of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for what you want to study and what you like. When you grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
it is common to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
of their dreams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can't afford it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there are programs of scholarships that can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, the problem is that there's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information and it is not well organized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find the one that
really
fits you.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
depending on your likes and dislikes and when you find it you need to be patient and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opportunities, programs and scholarships to accomplish your dream.
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IELTS essay Finding a college carreer

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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