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Experts say that walking is one of the best ways to maintain good health. However, nowadays people spend less time walking. What's the reason for this? What can be done to encourage people to spend more time walking?

Experts say that walking is one of the best ways to maintain good health. However, nowadays people spend less time walking. What's the reason for this? What can be done to encourage people to spend more time walking? m1PyL
At present, individuals are frittering least amount of time for hiking, whereas specialists opine that rambling is one of the most important aspects to keep up their superior welfare. This essay will first look at the causes of this incidence, and secondly, try to figure out a few possible solutions. To begin with, disinclination of people seems to be one of the key reasons for consuming shorter time of walking. That is to say, nowadays they have more options than marching, become more reluctant. For example, in my city, because 50% service holders used to do in house exercise, and because they have to go office early in the morning and return home late night, they have no extra time to walk on the outside. Besides, due to unplanned urbanisation, a lot of fields, parks had been demolished actually which are used for people walking. For instance, a recent survey in my city, shows that almost 85% leisure spots along with roaming places ruined by unauthorized aggregators. As a result, many of subconscious individuals are getting reluctant. In order to address this problem, a few initiatives could be handy. First of all, individuals should be changed, their mentality towards the benefits of walking. Those who want to live healthy must walk everyday. To illustrate, in my country a famous physician J. Alam recommended that people should walk at least 40 minutes, to keep fit their body as well as free from cardiovascular diseases. Moreover, outdoor walking facilities must be expanded, so that they become naturally attracted towards it. To cite an example, more sports fields, parks need to either constructed or renovated to motivate these people to walk outside and remain healthy. To conclude, it is obvious that people swell less time afoot is undoubtedly a major issue in today's world. If they want to keep them healthy and free from illnesses, we must do implement everything suggested in this essay.
At present, individuals are frittering
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for hiking, whereas specialists opine that rambling is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up their superior welfare. This essay will
first
look at the causes of this incidence, and
secondly
, try to figure out a few possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, disinclination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seems to be one of the key reasons for consuming shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of walking.
That is
to say, nowadays they have more options than marching, become more reluctant.
For example
, in my city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
50% service holders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
exercise, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go office early in the morning and return home late night, they have no extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
on the outside.

Besides
, due to unplanned
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fields, parks had
been demolished
actually which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
walking.
For instance
, a recent survey in my city,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that almost 85% leisure spots along with roaming places ruined by unauthorized aggregators.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of subconscious individuals are getting reluctant.

In order to address this problem, a few initiatives could be handy.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, individuals should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, their mentality towards the benefits of walking. Those who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. To illustrate, in my country a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
physician J.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alam
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
at least 40 minutes, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit their body
as well
as free from cardiovascular diseases.

Moreover
, outdoor walking facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be expanded
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they become
naturally
attracted towards it. To cite an example, more sports fields, parks need to either constructed or renovated to motivate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
outside and remain healthy.

To conclude
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
swell less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
afoot is
undoubtedly
a major issue in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. If they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them healthy and free from illnesses, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do implement everything suggested in this essay.
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IELTS essay Experts say that walking is one of the best ways to maintain good health. However, nowadays people spend less time walking. What's the reason for this? What can be done to encourage people to spend more time walking?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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