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Nowadays, more and more professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries are choosing to live and work in richer countries.

Nowadays, more and more professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries are choosing to live and work in richer countries. q1JJp
Nowadays, more and more professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. There are many reasons given to explain this problem. Firstly, professionals are leaving their underdeveloped native countries because they do not have adequate opportunities there. Second, poor countries do not adequately provide modern technological equipment to serve their study, work, and research needs. Additionally, the salary and benefits in developed countries are really attractive. Thus professionals can devote themselves to work and research without worrying about money problems. A shortage of learners in science fields can result in some negative effects. The first impact: These professionals often have the skills and ideas to significantly boost the economy, which is important to improve the standard of living of its residents. The loss of these workers is why developed countries keep improving while the poorer countries remain stagnant. The second impact: migration of skilled professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries creates problems such as skills shortage and economic instability in their native countries. Additionally, the lack of needed personnel is also an important problem. For example, in many developing countries, hospitals and schools are often understaffed, causing a decline in services. However, there are various solutions to these problems such as offering a better salary and better living conditions. Firstly, this can be improved by increasing wages and investing in equipment and training to tempt doctors and teachers to continue working there Secondly, The government of these countries can spend their budget to improve the standard of living of their citizens by borrowing funds from external banks. Finally, the governments should launch special schemes and employment opportunities for the educated and aspiring youth. In conclusion, poorer countries are unable to develop due to the brain–drain. This can only be solved when the government offers better conditions to retain talent. The public and private sectors need to work together to mitigate this problem before it is too late.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this problem.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are leaving their underdeveloped native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have adequate opportunities there.

Second, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
adequately
provide modern technological equipment to serve their study,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and research needs.

Additionally
, the salary and benefits in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
really
attractive.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
can devote themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and research without worrying about money problems.

A shortage of learners in science fields can result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

The
first
impact: These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
significantly
boost the economy, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living of its residents. The loss of these workers is why developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
improving while the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
remain stagnant.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second impact: migration of skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
from underdeveloped or developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
shortage and economic instability in their native countries.

Additionally
, the lack of needed personnel is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, hospitals and schools are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
understaffed, causing a decline in services.

However
, there are various solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as offering a better salary and better living conditions.

Firstly
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by increasing wages and investing in equipment and training
Did you mean "tempting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to tempt
doctors and teachers to continue working there

Secondly
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can spend their budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living of their citizens by borrowing funds from external banks.

Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should launch special schemes and employment opportunities for the educated and aspiring youth.

In conclusion
, poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are unable to develop due to the brain–drain. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be solved
when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offers better conditions to retain talent. The public and private sectors need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together to mitigate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries are choosing to live and work in richer countries.

Essay
  American English
13 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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