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Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on society and family life? v.4

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on society and family life? v. 4
These days, many people made their decision to give birth in later stages of life. There are a lot of reasons for this trend, and the effects can be clearly seen on society and family life. There are several reasons why many couples give birth late in life. Firstly, young parents want to focus on their career to solve problems about money and find right ways to earn a living. They decide to delay having the first child because they need to save up enough money to make sure that their life is wealthy. Secondly, older parents can take care of their children more carefully. In fact, parents in their old age are more experienced and ready to be responsible for caring about the children. Having children later in life brings about negative and positive impacts on society and families. On the one hand, the mother is likely to suffer from many health problems such as high blood pressure. Besides, it is harder for old parents to understand and communicate with younger children due to generation gap. On the other hand, children of old couples are more healthy thanks to better education and living conditions. As a result, they will make effective labour force and then contribute a lot to the development of society. To conclude, parents want to be rich and prepare best conditions before having their first child. That is why they choose to give birth late, and this trend affects the society as well as families both positively and negatively.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
made their decision to give birth in later stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons for this trend, and the effects can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on society and family life.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples give birth late in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to focus on their career to solve problems about money and find right ways to earn a living. They decide to delay having the
first
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is wealthy.
Secondly
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more
carefully
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age are more experienced and ready to be responsible for caring about the children.

Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on society and families. On the one hand, the mother is likely to suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as high blood pressure.
Besides
, it is harder for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to understand and communicate with younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to generation gap.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
couples are more healthy thanks to better education and living conditions.
As a result
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force and then contribute a lot to the development of society.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to be rich and prepare best conditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having their
first
child.
That is
why they choose to give birth late, and this trend affects the society
as well
as families both
positively
and
negatively
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on society and family life? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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