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Nowadays more and more people are spending less time at home. Why do you think it happens? What effect does this have on individuals and the society? v.4

In the busy world nowadays, it has become increasingly common for numerous individuals to allocate a very little time to sit at their homes. This essay will elaborate on some probable causes of this situation as well as elucidating effects of this on humans and on society. On the one hand, there are some widespread reasons why individuals are not spending adequate time sitting at home. First of all, it is widely acknowledged that life has become challengeable to dwell. Thus, almost all people are applying for at least two jobs due to the fact that a salary of one job cannot feed one’s family. Apart from this, it is logical that buildings such as cafés or restaurants makes an outstanding contribution in having more time outside instead of inside our houses. People today, for instance, prefer going to somewhere in lieu of maintaining a sedentary lifestyle. Furthermore, due to the light of the proliferation of technology, the majority of individuals are looking for places where have internet connection available and it sometimes accounts for a great deal of persons’ time. On the other hand, it is an indisputable fact that this situation is having negative influences on individuals themselves as well as bringing considerable troubles on society. To start with, it is generally accepted that children will not be taken care of their parents providing that they sit hardly ever at home. As a result, a crime rate of a country may reach its peak and there will always be rude people on society. Furthermore, this situation does not only increase crime rate, but also it leads citizens to be not able to think before making essential decisions. To conclude, the reasons behind this trend may lie in overworking and the light in the proliferation of the technology, and possible problems are an increase in crime rate as well as foolishness among communities.
In the busy world nowadays, it has become
increasingly
common for numerous
individuals
to allocate a
very
little
time to sit at their homes. This essay will elaborate on
some
probable causes of this situation
as well
as elucidating effects of this on humans and on society.

On the one hand, there are
some
widespread reasons why
individuals
are not spending adequate time sitting at home.
First of all
, it is
widely
acknowledged that life has become
challengeable
to dwell.
Thus
, almost all
people
are applying for at least two jobs due to the fact that a salary of one job cannot feed one’s family. Apart from this, it is logical that buildings such as cafés or restaurants
makes
an outstanding contribution in having more time outside
instead
of inside our
houses
.
People
today
,
for instance
, prefer
going to somewhere
in lieu of maintaining a sedentary lifestyle.
Furthermore
, due to the light of the proliferation of technology, the majority of
individuals
are looking for places where have internet connection
available and
it
sometimes
accounts for a great deal of persons’ time.

On the other hand
, it is an indisputable fact that this situation is having
negative
influences on
individuals
themselves
as well
as bringing considerable troubles on society. To
start
with, it is
generally
accepted
that children will not
be taken
care of their parents providing that they sit hardly ever at home.
As a result
, a crime rate of a country may reach its peak and there will always be rude
people
on society.
Furthermore
, this situation does not
only
increase crime rate,
but
also
it leads citizens to be not able to
think
before
making essential decisions.

To conclude
, the reasons behind this trend may lie in overworking and the light in the proliferation of the technology, and possible problems are an increase in crime rate
as well
as foolishness among communities.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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