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In many countries, there is a shortage of housing due to a growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the countryside, others argue for the regeneration of cities. v.1

In many countries, there is a shortage of housing due to a growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the countryside, others argue for the regeneration of cities. v. 1
With around eight billion population in the world, many cities have little spaces to accommodate the growing number of population and their housing. Thousands of people are moving to the urban areas each day for better jobs, modern facilities, education and healthcare services only to increase the woes the cities already have. To solve the housing and other pressing issues due to the booming of the population, many people opine that constructions of new cities near rural areas is the best solution while others have a different view on this. The second group supports regeneration of cities rather than building new towns close to country sides. Establishing new cities in the vicinity of the countrysides has its advantages and drawbacks. First of all, building new cities near the countrysides would require a huge budget. Since many underdeveloped and developed countries already have a scarcity of budgets even to support the basic needs of citizens, taking such initiatives would uplift their debts only. Besides, constructing new cities close to country sides would require destroying farming lands and natural geography which will have severe consequences including deforestation and degradation of lands. Further, such cities would be far away from the main cities and if the government fails to provide every facility that the already established cities have, people would not stay there and this possess a chance of the wastage of money in the long run. Finally, many cities already have severe congestion problem and building such new cities near rural areas would make the situation worse as people’s necessity for commuting to these new cities would increase. On the other hand, accurate planning and proper execution of establishing new cities near rural areas rather than regenerating existing cities have many merits. First of all, this would be an excellent way to solve the housing problems many cities have. If the government can ensure proper facilities in the newly constructed cities, the pressure on current cities would decrease tremendously. This would result in less traffic congestion, decentralisation, less pollution and better life standard in both types of cities. Newly built cities would open many new job facilities and that would help the adjacent rural areas to develop as well. No doubt the constructions would require a huge budget, but the government will have an excellent opportunity to control many business sectors there to earn a steady revenue. Finally, these new cities would have modern buildings and new constructions which would fight better against the natural calamities like the earthquake. In conclusion, building new cities near rural areas is a plan that can bring many amenities both for the citizens and the government in a country. It can be an excellent way for solving housing and pollution problems in existing cities though some negative consequences of this plan should be taken into consideration.
With around eight billion population in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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cities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
spaces to accommodate the growing number of population and their housing. Thousands of
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people
are moving to the urban
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areas
each day for better jobs, modern facilities, education and healthcare services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to increase the woes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
have. To solve the housing and other pressing issues due to the booming of the population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that constructions of
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is the best solution while others have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view on this. The second group supports regeneration of
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cities
rather
than
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building
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new
towns close to
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country
sides. Establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the vicinity of the countrysides has its advantages and drawbacks.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the countrysides would require a huge budget. Since
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many
underdeveloped and developed
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
have a scarcity of budgets even to support the basic needs of citizens, taking such initiatives would uplift their debts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Besides
, constructing
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new
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cities
close to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
sides would require destroying farming lands and natural geography which will have severe
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "including". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences including
deforestation and degradation of lands.
Further
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would be far away from the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
fails to provide every facility that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
established
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cities
have,
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people
would not stay there and
The verb 'possess' is plural. Did you mean: "this possesses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this possess
a chance of the wastage of money in the long run.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
have severe congestion problem and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation worse
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
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people’s
necessity for commuting to these
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would increase.

On the other hand
, accurate planning and proper execution of establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than regenerating existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this would be an excellent way to solve the housing problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can ensure proper facilities in the
newly
constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the pressure on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would decrease
tremendously
. This would result in less traffic congestion,
Possible spelling mistake. 'decentralisation' is British English.
decentralisation
, less pollution and better life standard in both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Newly
built
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cities
would open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job facilities and that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the adjacent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to develop
as well
. No doubt the constructions would require a huge budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will have an excellent opportunity to control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
business sectors there to earn a steady revenue.
Finally
, these
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would have modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
constructions which would fight better against the natural calamities like the earthquake.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is a plan that can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
amenities both for the citizens and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It can be an excellent way for solving housing and pollution problems in existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this plan should
be taken
into consideration.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, there is a shortage of housing due to a growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the countryside, others argue for the regeneration of cities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
470 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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