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Nowadays, more and more people are eating fast food. Why?

Nowadays, more and more people are eating fast food. Why? W89ak
Today, fast food is used more and more in everyone’s meals. It’s proven to be harmful to health but people still eat it. To begin with, there are many reasons as to why people are eating more fast food nowadays. Firstly, it’s pretty delicious and look very attractive. Therefore, fast food become the favourite food of young people. Secondly, a lot of people are pretty busy so they don’t have enough time to cook and eat at home. So, they will choose fast food restaurants and eat there. I think they choose it because it’s convenient and cheap. In short, for many reasons fast food is popular. Although fast food is convenient but it brings many drawback. I think the biggest problem is heath. In fact, Fast food ingredients often include a lot of salt, sugar, and processed chemicals. Substances that cause problems to health issues such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and even cancer. Today, the rate of people with diabetes at 15-20 years old is very high. Besides, fast food produces many waste. Most of these wastes are harmful to the environment. It takes thousands of years to decompose. So, let’s limit easting fast food. In conclusion, although fast food is harmful, people still continue to eat it. However, everyone should take care of their own health.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
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fast
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food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more and more in everyone’s meals. It’s proven to be harmful to health
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but
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people
still
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eat
it.

To
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begin
with, there are
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many
reasons as to why
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people
are eating more
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fast
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food
nowadays.
Firstly
, it’s pretty delicious and look
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very
attractive.
Therefore
,
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
become the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
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food
of young
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people
.
Secondly
,
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a lot of
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people
are pretty busy
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so
they don’t have
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enough
time to cook and
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eat
at home.
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So
, they will choose
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fast
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food
restaurants and
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eat
there. I
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think
they choose it
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because
it’s convenient and
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cheap
. In short, for
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many
reasons
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is popular.

Although
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is convenient
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but
it brings
Possible agreement error. The noun drawback seems to be countable; consider using: "many drawbacks".
many drawback
. I
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think
the biggest problem is heath. In fact,
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Fast
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food
ingredients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
include
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a lot of
salt, sugar, and processed chemicals. Substances that cause problems to health issues such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and even cancer.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with diabetes at 15-20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
Besides
,
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produces
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many
waste. Most of these wastes are harmful to the environment. It takes thousands of years to decompose.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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let
’s limit
Possible spelling mistake found.
easting
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fast
food.

In conclusion
, although
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is harmful,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
it.
However
, everyone should take care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people are eating fast food. Why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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