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Nowadays more and more museums and art galleries around the world are putting their material contents online. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There is a growing matter that is concerning museums and art galleries nowadays, that is whether displaying online art contents has more benefits or drawbacks. This essay will examine some negative effects of providing them online and, at the same time, offer some arguments in favor of this practice. Many argue that uploading artwork on internet can only lead to a decrease in their uniqueness because the essence and what push people to watch art is that it is something that step out of the ordinary, while having it on internet to everybody reachability would just make it less special. Not considering that this would definitely cause a fall of the income produced by tickets selling, generating a consequential monetary loss for museums that would find more difficult to overcome the various costs of works of art’s maintenance. Lastly, the spread of hypothetical knowledge that would come from this practice, because it would not be under any kind of guidance, will result in various art misinterpretations. However, I don’t think these arguments stand up to a scrutiny. The function of museums of art galleries is spreading knowledge about art, these kind of events can reach a greater number of people than canonical exhibition, giving a chance to enjoy art to people who can’t pay the entrance fee or the ones that for geographical reasons can’t visit the structure where it is displayed. On the other hand, after seeing artworks online, many people will acknowledge their existence and more likely decide to pay a visit to the museum in order to see them in reality. As regard for the monetary aspect, many of these activities give the spectators the possibility to become donator even through small donation. To sum up, although there might be some trivial downside for museums holding online exhibitions, I do believe that the advantages far overweigh the disadvantages. Museums and art galleries should increase this practice because it can mostly benefit them.
There is a growing matter that
The verb 'concerning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is concerning
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museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries nowadays,
that is
whether displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
contents has more benefits or drawbacks. This essay will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of providing them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and, at the same time, offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments in favor of this practice.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that uploading artwork on internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to a decrease in their uniqueness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the essence and what push
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people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is that it is something that step out of the ordinary, while having it on internet to everybody
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reachability
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it less special. Not considering that this would definitely cause a fall of the income produced by tickets selling, generating a consequential monetary loss for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that would find more difficult to overcome the various costs of works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art’s
maintenance.
Lastly
, the spread of hypothetical knowledge that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from this practice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would not be under any kind of guidance, will result in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
misinterpretations.

However
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these arguments stand up to a scrutiny. The function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries is spreading knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can reach a greater number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than canonical exhibition, giving a chance to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can’t pay the entrance fee or the ones that for geographical reasons can’t visit the structure where it
is displayed
.
On the other hand
, after seeing artworks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will acknowledge their existence and more likely decide to pay a visit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them in reality. As regard for the monetary aspect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these activities give the spectators the possibility to become
Possible spelling mistake found.
donator
even through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
donation.

To sum up, although there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trivial downside for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
exhibitions, I do believe that the advantages far
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries should increase this practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
mostly
benefit them.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more museums and art galleries around the world are putting their material contents online. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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