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Nowadays more and more children having an electronic device such as computer or mobile phone. Some people say that this is a positive development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays more and more children having an electronic device such as computer or mobile phone. Some people say that this is a positive development. 3b78n
In a modern society, the Internet is increasingly developed and used by almost all ages, so it is more and more common for children to use electronic devices such as smartphones. Many people consider it a positive development and I completely agree with that. This essay will discuss the positive aspects of the problem, along with some negative aspects that it brings. First, children's use of smart electronic devices such as smartphones or tablets gives them the opportunity to access useful and convenient learning sites. Online learning is the optimal learning method for almost every family with children. It is easy and quick for children to learn how to use electronic devices. They can be at home, accessing learning sites and can comfortably study without time limit. Moreover, online learning sites also help them learn with unique illustrations, interesting videos that do not cause boredom, increase their concentration level to be highly effective. Currently, there are many famous learning software used by many children such as duolingo, English 123 or Math 247. Secondly, when children know how to use smart electronic devices, their entertainment becomes richer. They can read books online, watch online movies or play online games without wasting their parents' time. In addition, both parents and kids can have fun on their phones or computers without having to go out. However, using phones will make children passive in thinking, causing health problems. That is extremely dangerous because children are young, they have not yet arbitrarily done what they should and shouldn't do. In conclusion, it is good for children to know how to use smart electronic devices because it responds to today's modern society. At the same time, parents should know to show them how to use it reasonably and safely
In a modern society, the Internet is
increasingly
developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by almost all ages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is more and more common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as smartphones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of the problem, along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects that it brings.

First
, children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as smartphones or tablets gives them the opportunity to access useful and convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
sites.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is the optimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
method for almost every family with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is easy and quick for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. They can be at home, accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
sites and can
comfortably
study without time limit.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
sites
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn with unique illustrations, interesting videos that do not cause boredom, increase their concentration level to be
highly
effective.
Currently
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
duolingo
, English 123 or Math 247.

Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, their entertainment becomes richer. They can read books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
movies or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
games without wasting their parents' time.
In addition
, both parents and kids can have fun on their phones or computers without having to go out.

However
, using phones will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
passive in thinking, causing health problems.
That is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are young, they have not
yet
arbitrarily
done what they should and shouldn't do.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it responds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern society. At the same time, parents should know to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
reasonably
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
safely
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more children having an electronic device such as computer or mobile phone. Some people say that this is a positive development.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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